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The Virtual Reality

It was an enthralling game of Call of Duty: Black Ops.  I was a spetznaz sniper crawling my way around in my bushes in war torn Vietnam as teammates to the left and right were being gunned down.  My controller was coated with sweat, Dorito dust (come on Doritos, really?) and piss.

 We were losing the fight when suddenly my room shifted into a purple color and I was sucked into the game!  Bullets were ricocheting off the trees around me and the amount of piss almost multiplied 10 times.

I realized now that if I die, I die forever!  I waddled my way through the marshes on my stomach, my gilly suit made me look like a crocodile, and then suddenly; an enemy appeared.

"OH NOOOOOOO" this foe shouted as my jaws clamped down on his upper arm, i began to spin my body around and round until the skin ripped away from bone.  Red dots appeared and i slithered into the forest like the sexy piece of reptile i was.  The enemy combatants swarmed around the exploded body of their comrade and awed, which is when i leapt from the trees like some sort of raptor or bird and viciously tore them apart.

An enemy helicopter appeared and sprayed screaming lead down upon me and my teammates, piercing the cowering flesh of spetznaz.  I gathered severed tendons and fashioned a slingshot, to where i catapulted my body at the helicopter and tomahawked it.

I fell to the earth and perished, then attack dogs came and raped every man and child.
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