You may not believe it, but I am in possession of a toilet made specifically for women.  No, it doesn't have a tampon caddy on the side or a little drawer for Cosmo, but it can't have been intended for a man to use.

You can not keep the lid up on my toilet.

I'm pretty sure I put the thing together right when I installed it, because it doesn't spray my ass crack when I flush, but the tank is set so far forward that the lid falls down if you raise it all the way back and let go.  Don't even think about pulling up the seat!

It's no problem for the rest of the house.  I have a wife and two daughters.  One still shits in her pants, so fuck that, but when she's old enough, she'll be laughing her ass off at old dad.

I had a buddy that stayed with me a couple nights a week for a while when he was trying to sell his house.  He called the woman-toilet "The Peter Eater".  He was absoutely right - put an edge on that thing and it would be no more flopping in the breeze for me!

And men, we don't admit it, but you know how hard it is to hit an empty bowl.  Imagine having half of that area closed off.  I'm stressin' here!

I am footfknmaster, and I am constantly wiping the seat.