If there is, its being fought by imbeciles. Because Christmas is winning big time.

The only Army I know out there in the make-believe Christmas battle is the Salvation Army, and I think they're on Christmas' side. So what's this so-called war based on?

Think about it. We couldnt even get through Thanksgiving without Christmas shopping that very day. (And Black Friday? When did shopping become a sport?)

Weve got Christmas decorations up on the streets. Weve got lots selling Christmas trees. (So what if one lone wolf calls them Holiday Trees? Does that translate to "War? )

You cant escape Christmas. Not that Im trying to.

 These two Christmas radio stations are set on my dial. I love the holiday tunes, except for the God-awful Paul McCartney Christmas song. Jeez, dude. Youre Paul McCartney. You can do better than that! (And why are stations so fond of playing it? Every hour, it seems.)

Still, for Christmas audio cheer:

WNCV-FM 93.3

WMCX-FM 99.9

Now, I dont know if the stations will still be playing Christmas music when you tune in. You know, theres a war, so maybe some Grinchy Army has shut down their signal by now. But I doubt it.

And what do I have to do to get my all-time favorite Christmas recording played on one of these stations?

Said LIPO DAVIS: "Herman Cain was framed. All those women were paid off to lie about him. Herman Cain is an honest man and has never cheated on his wife. The scoundrels responsible for smearing his good name work for Barack Obama, president of the United States."