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Things I Wish I Could Start a Kickstarter For...

Get the Country of Georgia to Rename One of Its Cities Atlanta:
So maybe none of the citizens of Georgia would find it as funny as Americans would but that doesn't matter. USA USA USA!!!
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Make a Reality Show Where I Go Around the Country in an Ice Cream Truck and Yell at Kids That There's No More Ice Cream:
So this show would just be me driving an ice cream truck but instead of having ice cream in it, I just shout that there's no more ice cream in existence really loudly through a megaphone and take pictures of the sad children's faces afterwards. Then maybe offer some apple slices and hot pennies off of a frying pan to make them feel better, but we all know they won't feel better at all.
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Get A Sex Change For My Dog:
I'm tired of fucking her as a girl. 82812997.jpg


Build My Own Masturbatorium:
A special room in my apartment dedicated solely to masturbating. I would need the money for a new plasma flat screen tv displaying my favorite torrented porn and a never ending supply of tissues (the soft, name brand kind) and a whole lot of cocoa butter.
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Raise Enough Money to Shut Down Kickstarter:
Ha yeah...I'm an asshole.82812998.jpg


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Tags: fail wrong

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