Three the Hard Way

   The story will need a bit of bear with me.  First off, this is a true story.  I will change the names of the folks involved and some of dialogue may not be exact, due to the number of years past and amount of alcohol consumed since.  However, the main point of the story is true.  Second, this all took place back in the early fall of 1990.  Cell phones were not prevalent quite yet.  Also (in the immortal words of the Coen Bros.), "America was dealing with that camel fucker in Iraq...this aggression will not stand."  Without further ado, I give you "Three the Hard Way.  

   It was a warm September evening.  Me, my step brother (Mac), and my best friend (Dennis) were out cruising the east side cruising strip.  I had a brand new Chevy Beretta GT, it was all waxed up, and we were looking good.  At least, as good as three skinny, spoiled rotten, inexperienced young boys could look.  We had the windows down, the Polo cologne on, hair combed and sprayed to perfection, and NWA was in the tape deck.  The sub was getting a workout.  Basically, we were the shit or so we thought.  We had made several trips up and down the two mile strip in the mid-sized, Midwestern town and no luck with the ladies yet.  That was the primary purpose of cruising the strip.  To get some pretty girls to notice us, get them in our car, and maybe feel a boob or make out a little.  That was it.  We set our expectations low.  On the third trip down the strip a car pulls up with four girls.  They were young, decent looking, and were willing to talk to us at the stop light.  That was the only real requirement.    

   The girls seemed quite taken with us and requested we pull over to talk.  We happily obliged.  We all got out in the McDonald's parking lot and chatted for a minute.  They told us they were going to a party and wanted us to come too.  We said sure.  They asked Mac if he wanted to ride with them.  Mac agreed.  Dennis and I said we'd follow.  We pulled back onto the strip and followed the girls.  Dennis said, "I can't believe Mac went with them.  I didn't think they were that hot."  I replied, "I thought they were OK."  Dennis quipped, "Mac will go after anything that gives him a wink."  I laughed and nodded; not really agreeing but not in the mood to debate.  At the third light, the girls blew through a yellow.  I stopped not wanting to get pulled over on the heavily patrolled strip.  Dennis said, "Their getting away."  I insured him we would catch back up.  I was wrong.    

   We searched for 30 minutes to no avail.  They were gone.  We figured Mac would make it home somehow.  Dennis and I went back to cruising.  Another 30 minutes pass and the girls show back up.  No Mac.  They pulled up and said, "Where did you guys go?  We took Mac to the party and came back to get you guys."  That seemed reasonable.  Next they said, "Mac told us to get Dennis and for you to follow us."  Dennis looked at me and smiled.  He said, "Sweet dude.  Pull over.  Let me get in with them."  I looked at him and with a half smile said, "I thought you said they weren't that hot."  Dennis snapped back, "I got a better look this time.  C'mon man, just pull over."  I begrudgingly agreed and he got in the car with him.  I quickly said, "Let me just ride too.  I'll park my car here and someone can give us a ride back."  One of the girls said, "No, we're not coming back out.  Just follow us."  I didn't like the idea, but I did it.  We got back on the strip and I followed for a bit.  They got into a left turn lane and I followed suit.  Once again, the light turned yellow and the girl driving darts back across into the traffic heading north bound and I lose them.  I was pissed now.  I peeled off into a parking lot and fumed for a minute.  Then to myself I said, "Fuck it.  I'll go home and get drunk.  They were staying at my house anyway.  I figured I'd get good and drunk and give them a piece of my mind when they rolled in.  

   So I got home about 11:30 PM and started drinking and watching some TV.  The more I drank the angrier I became.  I could just picture them at this wild party, getting drunk, and having sex with all these chicks.  Oh man, I was mad.  I built up this whole scenario in my head and what I was going to do about it.  Then at 1:00 AM, I glanced out the window of my bedroom and see them pull up.  They were in a car with a couple of the girls and also a couple of guys.  They stood in our driveway talking for a bit.  I wondered what was going on.  Finally, they came in.  They were sober and laughing about the evening.  I was still pissed.  I said, "What the fuck happened?"  They both laughed and sat me down.  They told me the story.  

   Mac had been driven out to the country, one of the girls started crying, and they stopped the car.  The girl that was crying yelled, "This guy grabbed me.  I think he's a rapist.  We have to get him out of here."  Then another car pulled up and four guys got out.  They asked what was going on.  The girls told them that Mac was trying to rape one of the girls...she's still sobbing.  The guys start to get all tough with Mac and tell him they are going to kill him.  So Mac starts freaking out and claims his innocence.  They don't listen, throw him in the trunk, and shut the lid.  They start talking loudly about what they are going to do to him.  So they let him sweat it out for a few minutes.  They let him out.  They tell him they are a religious group and are out recruiting young people to join their ministry.  They use this scare tactic to show young people what could happen if they are not living under the guidance of God.  Like a good friend would, Mac tells them he wants them to do the same thing to Dennis.  That's why they came back and specifically asked for Dennis.  They took both of them to a late night mass at their church in the middle of nowhere and finally back to my house.  I thought this was hilarious and was glad for the first time that evening that I did not get picked up by the girls.  Apparently, Dennis had a real breakdown and was begging them not to hurt him and even offered them money.

   I can't say if any lessons were learned from this, but it is a cool story to tell.  I would have like to seen their reactions when the girl cried rape and the guys pulled into the picture.  I guess we could have alerted the authorities, but it seemed harmless to us.  I learned how much I loved getting drunk by myself and harboring resentments.  Mac is now married to a psychotic bitch that controls him and makes false accusations about him...much like the girl who cried rape.  And good old Dennis still buys his way out of trouble.  Not much has changed really.  Except now the problems are real and there is no "we were just kidding to show you what could happen" at the end of the day.   I still listen to that NWA album and think back to that warm fall night.

Uploaded 03/07/2010
  • 0 Favorites
  • Flag
  • Stumble
  • Pin It