Because I really have nothing better to do with my time here is this:
So, I'm sitting here at the desk, minding my own business, when this 20 something beach bum comes in wanting a room. No shirt, flip flops, just a pair of swim trunks on with no pockets. This is gonna be important to remember. The guy is drunk, and unfortunately for me, I will realize just how drunk in a minute.Drunken Guy: "Hi, I need a room"Me: "Okay, lemme just set you up here" ." *spend a few minutes grabbing information from him; name, address, type of room*Me: "Okay, that'll be $127.99 sir."DG: *puts a piece of toast on the counter* "There ya go."I just kinda looked at it for a minute, then looked at him to see if he was being serious, then told him "Sir, that's a piece of toast."At this point, my brain was already asking questions it shouldn't have had to at this hour. *Why toast? Where the hell did you GET toast? You don't have any pockets on those swim trunks, and I definitely didn't see you carry it in. Where did you get toast FROM at this hour? And why is it hot? HOW is it hot?! Did you have a toaster jacked to your car?!*DG: "Yeah, but it's good toast."Me: "Wha- that doesn't change the fact that it's TOAST."DG: "Yeah, but I mean it's good toast, I promise you. There's money on it, run it."Me: *what.*Me: "Sir, toast doesn't have money on it. It's toast."DG: "Well maybe not YOUR toast. Dude, it's good, I promise, at least give it a try."Me: *How the- what the fu- How would I even-*Me: "Sir, I can't take this. We do not take toast at this hotel. No matter how crispy it is." *and at this point I'm asking myself "Am I really having this conversation?"*DG: "Well, that seems like pretty bad business man"Me: "Wha- IT'S TOAST. LOOK! IT'S NOT EVEN WARM ANYMORE!" *pokes it*DG: "Well that doesn't make it any less valuable. Seriously, y'all shouldn't turn away perfectly good money just 'cause of the form it comes in. My toast is as good as everyone else's toast."Me: "I...I... I don't know what to say to that."DG: "I do man. We'll just take our toast somewhere else man. G'night."I...I... what the FUCK!?!?!