Truth in Advertising

In chat the other day I suddenly got to thinking about old advertisements and how they try so meticulously to skirt the real issues - especially when it comes to cleaning products and what consumers REALLY need them for.

Remember the old Stick-ups commercials? The air freshener you just peel the back off of and stick to any counter or wall for long-lasting freshness? Those commercials are among the first that come to mind here, when I talk of truth in advertising.

A lady goes into the bathroom and a gigantic pile of mildew rises up like a tsunami wave. Of course, that's not what we're REALLY trying to conquer when we think of bathroom odors. If this bitch were that much of a stickler when it came to housekeeping, her towels and sink and tub would be gleaming on a weekly basis.

No, what we need some extra bleach/air freshening power for are those everyday odors and germs NO ONE ever wants to talk about in commercials, yet are the very cardinal reasons we look to purchase those products.

Hell, if you disclosed that within the advertisement, peeps would probably be a lot more likely to run out and stock up on this shit to begin with. Let's drop the mildew and mold encroachment and show some typical cleaning housewife talking about what's REALLY bugging her:


A coach steps into the locker room and a gigantic smelly sock busts out of the locker to suffocate him. Come on, now - a team of athletic males palin' around the locker room and you're worried about a fucking sock or two?? Just go the distance already and show a huge ballsac swingin' from the ceiling:


What? Is that a bit too embarrassing for manly men, for the real cause of their disgusting stank to be revealed? Keep on telling the masses it's all about a few socks and sneakers, and we'll let them continue to wonder why chicks prefer not to go down on them.

But of course, it's always o.k. to have about 50 vaginal itch / yeast / stank commercials in a row, which I personally blame for the multitude of smelly puss jokes out there, while peeps think it strange I always complain about disgusting nutsacs and how the city bus smells like a penis - as if they have NO clue what it's about.


Yes... for once I'd like to see a male hygiene product on TV, like all-new "Sak Spritz" or some shit like that.

 In the meantime, I love to laugh at commercials, and the guessing game peeps have to play when it comes to how well this shit might REALLY take care of what you'd buy it for - unless it comes to the mother of all problems, which is apparently the female genitalia, of course. So I'm inviting anyone to make a cute fake advert for some bullshit product for the truth in advertising theme here, especially since I'll probably make more myself as the days go by.
Uploaded 09/15/2011
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