UFOs the buzz over nothing

I used to be one of those ppl who, maybe didn't outright "believe," but at least didn't dismiss the idea of UFOs. After all, modern quantum mechanics says that we are part of a multiverse which in turn is part of a multitude of dimensions and in the collective of all of those dimensions every possibility exists. in other words, in this dimension you live a miserable life where all you do is troll on ebaums but in another dimension, you are the Brad Pitt and rich and famous. So given that, and given the fact that "space" goes on to infinity, then it would be crazy to think that we are the only conscious beings in the universe. I mean what makes us so special (please no religious stuff, this isn't a religious debate). Purely based on stats there has to be life somewhere else.


Well, given all of that, why the hell are we so enthralled with UFOs? What makes them so awesome that we lose our shit over "sightings?" Ya i mean i understand, the idea of discovering them would be revolutionary and blah blah blah. But lets for a second step back and think about what it would mean if UFOs are actually real.


Genetically, the difference between us and chimps is about 1-2%. But in reality look at the vast separation between chimps and humans. Chimps have attained the ability to use sticks to dig out termites, while we've designed atomic bombs, particle colliders, and sent people into space. And that's a difference of only about 1%!!! Now look at how we treat chimps. Do chimps have the right to vote? Are their needs met over ours? No. Do chimps ever come out and ask us for help? Do they communicate to us in ANY way other than to acknowledge we exist? 


Now imagine an advanced race that has discovered the means of traveling at light speeds and intergalactic distances. The difference between us and them is surely greater than 1%.

And as an aside, I don't think people realize how difficult it is to actually travel intergalactic distances. Forget black holes, cosmic radiation, solar flares, and vast distances, the real problem is in physics itself! Light is an electromagnetic wave and it exhibits doppler effects (we can perceive this as the difference in pitch when an siren passes us). Light does the same thing but we can detect it as changes in the "color." Any object moving away exhibits red-shift and any object moving towards us exhibits blue-shift....anyways I'm kinda getting away from my point. Basically, physics tells us that in order to travel at light speeds, you can't just get into a spaceship and just hit the accelerator. In order to travel at that speed you have to ensure that you aren't going to lose energy (in the form of matter) while you're flying, and this generally does happen, as the rules of the universe dictate, because the old adage of "universe tends to go to chaos" is true. It's called entropy, and it states that any closed system (we can say the universe is a closed system) will go to disorder rather than order. So essentially, at least for us, flying at light speeds is pretty much unimaginable. 


But nonetheless, lets imagine that some advanced race has mastered this feat and has made it here to earth. This brings up several questions. 1) Why Earth? Obviously we don't present any danger to them seeing as how much more advanced they are than us. Some might say it's for resources. I'd have to disagree. Who's to say they evolved in the EXACT same way as us? It's completely arbitrary that our cells utilize oxygen as the final electron acceptor in the electron transport chain in our mitochondria, which provides us with ATP (energy). We evolved the way we did out of pure chance and luck, so who's to say they evolved in exactly the same way? Maybe they need carbon tetrafluoride to survive, maybe oxygen is poisonous to them. The point is, we can't presume they evolved like us, so we can't just say they want Earth so they can colonize it. Same could be said to those who say they need our DNA to survive some kind of epidemic or mass death or something along those lines. Again, if they have mastered intergalactic flight, I'm sure genetic manipulation is childsplay to them. 2) Lets presume they actually DID evolve in EXACTLY the same way and they want to check out our planet some more. Well, why do they have to get so close to do it? Again if they have the technology to survive intergalactic flight, they probably have some powerful telescopes, why don't they just sit back and enjoy the show? On the other hand, why are they so secretive? Last time I checked, we don't make it a secret when we research chimps. People go out in the wild and live with them. "Oh but they know we're dangerous and would attack them." Wrong. As bad ass as the new Bushmaster ACR and latest SAMs are, I highly doubt they'd be afraid of our weapons. 3) along those same lines, if they did evolve in the same way, and they do want to come to earth, what are they waiting for? Why haven't they either came down here and enslaved us, killed us, or just taken over the planet? If you look at our activities on Earth, we're obviously only destroying the planet so why would they let their own resources go to waste? We don't ask chimps if we can destroy their habitat because we want some more post-its to make that new stop motion youtube video, and I'm sure if advanced beings came here and needed our water, they wouldn't go to the UN and try to bang out a treaty. 


Now that we have the hypothetical stuff out of the way, let's look at the facts. There was research done in a town that was big on UFO sightings. A local research team paid a local tv channel to run a bunch of oldschool scary movies like Gremlins every night for like a week. At the end of a week they had a slight increase in ufo sightings. When those "eye witnesses" were asked to draw what they saw. 9 times out of 10, they drew something that looked like a character out of the scary movies. What does that mean? You guessed it, it was a dream. Furthermore, most sightings are around the areas of airforce bases. Coincidence? No. when the US rolled out those cool-looking Northrop Grumman B-52 Stealth Bombers that look like black triangles, there were numerous "sightings" every time the airforce did test flights of the new planes. Basically, "eye witness" testimony doesn't mean much. We are notorious for getting shit wrong when we see it. Everything we see is screened by our brains and most of the time our brains have to fill in a lot of blanks, based on prior schemas we use in order to survive. If you don't believe me take a piece of paper, and draw a 2 inch vertical line. On the right side of that line, about an inch from the line, make a pinpoint mark, like a dot from a pen. On the left side of the line, again an inch from the line, make a bigger dot, about the size of a frozen pea. Then cover one eye and with the open eye, look at the smaller dot. While looking at the smaller dot move the paper up to your nose while concentrating on the bigger dot in your periphery; when you get to a certain point the dot disappears momentarily at about 3-5 inches from your eye. That's because each one of our eyes has a blind spot from the optic nerve exiting our eye ball. That's just an example of how our eye sight isn't perfect and our brain has to do a lot of integrating and "coding" in order to perceive good stimuli. Another example, of course, would be the countless optical illusions. Optical illusions are just cool tricks, it's basically a big "fuck you" to your brain because it get confused trying to compute the incoming stimuli.


So in conclusion, do aliens exist? Ya probably they do, but UFOs probably don't. I could be wrong, but I think it would be logical to say that they don't given the numerous questions their existence raises. But if UFOs do visit us then who cares? What can you do with or against such an advanced race? That redneck militia and their stockpile of peeshooters will make absolutely no difference. Furthermore, if you think it's hard to get over a language barrier, try getting over a language and mental barrier, because surely aliens would not be able to communicate with such an inferior race, kinda like how we can't really carry on a conversation with monkeys (unless you live in Detroit like me, lol sry had to do the racial joke to wrap it up)


P.S if you've made it this far...thanks! and remember trolling is for fags :D

Uploaded 07/17/2010
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