ugdork's Random Thoughts

I have not been on EBW much so I thought I'd just write a few random ugdorkian thoughts that have been going through my head.

***It's Christmas season and I keep hearing ads for The National Star Registry. That's a place you can send money to and they will name a star in someone's honor. They say it makes a great gift:

"Give the gift of the stars..." "...the gift that lasts forever..."

Let me be the first to tell you that, (A) The Emperor has no clothes. (B) Naming a star after someone in lieu of a gift is as worthless as giving them a $5 tin of flavored popcorn from Target. It says, "I spent money on you for Christmas but you will get no benefit from the gift. Also, throwing away money like this was easier than actually having to PUT ANY THOUGHT INTO YOR GIFT!!!"

***I want to form a group of retarded musicians and call them "Syndrome of a Down."

***On Rudlph's Island of Misfit Toy's, I understand a boat that won't float being a misfit, but a perfectly functioning Jack-in-the-Box named Charlie? Hey, Charlie, CHANGE YOUR FUCKING NAME AND YOU WON"T BE A MISFIT!!!

A squirtgun that shoots jelly? How 'bout you fill it with water?

A train with square wheels? Sounds like a misfit toy BUILDER or a misfit toy train wheel vendor. Nothing a belt sander won't fix. Could be worse... I once had an Asian driving instructor!

***There used to be a commercial for KRAFT processed cheese slices. It stated that some cheaper processed cheese slices were made with oil but KRAFT used milk. I have a suggestion. How 'bout you just put some fucking CHEESE in there?

***How come if you knock a chick up but don't want the child�she feels justified asking you for money to support it by saying, "You were half responsible for making� him/her so you have half the responsibility." but if you want her to get an abortion she says, "It's MY body and MY choice! You don't have any say!"?

***40 years ago there weren't as many obese Americans as there are today. Today many fat-assed Americans will tell you that their weight is genetic. Does that mean Americans have genetically mutated in the last few decades?

These are just a few of the thoughts that run through my head. May you all have a great weekend.

Uploaded 12/13/2008
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