UPDATE - He just wants to die!

Well, I was right...

     while i was away in NC during last november for work, we had come to a point where it looked possible that we could have a day off, 6 days actually. i pack my crx with all the essentials; ammo box, clothes, shoes, gun, beer, etc.. and i head out. i hadnt done much driving since i replaced the water pump so i took it easy. i forget which road it is now, but 285, or 265 seem about right. at any rate, it was around 10am and i was headed west, clear day, high in the 50 if i had to guess. i toss "one hot minute" in the cd player and i ride.

     i hadnt been on these roads in a while and being that i had lots of time on my hands i decided to go a way that i didnt know, maybe get lost in the process. it never works. i end up on a road where we used to pick up a friend after his bike rides out of town (dave, that fucker. always argued about which side of the road cyclists are supposed to ride on. he says with traffic because its the law, and i say against traffic so i can see it comin. he ironically is hit from behind on a spring morning, killing him.. sometimes i hate being right). so here i am, not lost. i cruise into town and hit up all the old spots, except now i have a car and i like to go fast. one old house has burnt to the ground, another neighbor hood i lived in is gated off and gone, the townhouse is still there but it seemed different somehow, as if a person had died there. the old stone place was still standing, apartments just the same. the middle school had a futuristic makeover, looked gaudy as fuck. the high school was now a magnet school and the movie theater was shut down. the dilapidated house where i met a bum for the first time was turned into an appliance store which didnt have any good deals on flat screens, pshh. moving along...

     lil j was my olf home boy and i figured it was worth a shot to swing by his moms house and see if he was hangin around. god damn, he cut his hair.. we catch up for a bit and by then its about nightfall. his neighbor (who builds hondas!) wants to roll out and get some beers at a bar. were hungry. we hit arbys and swing over to a bar that previously didnt exist. phil gets a beer and myself and j stay on the patio to eat our sliced roast beef sandwiches. definitely had better. then, by some sort of douche bag magic, a guy appears and says we cant have outside food or drinks at his bar. we explain that its just a sandwich and itll be gone in a second. he explains that he doesnt care, rules are rules, get rid of the food or leave. we take 4 steps into the parking lot and stand there, staring at him while we violently eat these sandwiches. apparently thats a problem too. he mentions the police and we vow to never return to his shithole of a bar.

     now were at some chain restaurant with pool tables, music, girls and shit tons of people that look very familiar, if i could only remember why. into our 3rd beer and 2nd game i get a phone call. its "her", she says that joe is on his knees and hes not moving. my first thought is why the fuck are you calling me? does it seem medical? am i an emt? am i in the same fuckin time zone? Call someone who can actually help!!  i got the full story over time, along with my own postulations added for effect, and it goes as such...

     joe is drunk. his companion obviously doesnt give a shit about him, she come by my place and talks to "her", casually. no urgency in her tone. the talk for around 3-5 minutes before heading to joes place to look for her cat, outside first. by the time they make it inside about 3-5 more minutes have passed. joe is on his knees in the kitchen. the comes as a "complete surprise" to his fiance. he can barely talk and his arms are out in front of his body. hes callin his ex-wives name saying he wants to talk to her. they try to help him up with no luck. in all the murmuring he manages to say clearly, "just let me check out, let me go". he was having a stroke and whether he knew that or not he knew he was probably going to die if they left him alone. thats when i get the call.. i have to tell this person on the phone to hang up and call 911, for why i do not know. i didnt want him to die in front of "her". that was truly my only reason for the advice i gave. if it were me, i might have just walked away, a hug and a handshake if i could compose my thoughts. after all, it is what he wanted. 

     joe lived and he is still alive today. paralyzed right side of his body and he has to depend on another person for basic things. eating, bathing, dressing.. this isnt the life he wanted. he partied hard his whole life and knew what it would lead to. he just wanted to die in the same way that he wanted to live, i feel like i took that away from him. I'm sorry, Joe.
Uploaded 08/21/2011
  • 0 Favorites
  • Flag
  • Stumble
  • Pin It