The past two months, my friend's been telling me about his problem that it burned when he peed. I've been telling him to go to a doctor and have it looked at but he was too embarrassed. I thought he got an STD from his girlfriend but he swears that she would never cheat on him and they've been sexing it up for that past 4 years.

He finally goes to the doctor, turns out he had a jalapeno seed lodged in his shaft. The funny thing about it all was that he was having unprotected anal sex with his gf for the past several months. 

Lesson of the day. . .never do your girl in the butt after she eats jalapenos.