The rule of three
Is it TRUE?
Is it GOOD?
Is it USEFUL?
I read an something the other day that made me think about these things. I have always been one to dislike gossip and telling "everything you know". Sometimes I wonder why "friends" speak so ill of each other, and seem to take delight in passing on "inside" information or dirt or juicy gossip about someone whom they call a friend.
Of course people are prone to do this if they dislike someone, human nature I suppose to a point. But do you notice, how often it is about a friend? I had a certain friend who would constantly gossip about all of our other friends when she would visit or call me, and every time, I couldn't help but shake my head ....KNOWING that as soon as she left my house, she would be gossipping about ME to THEM!On many occasions, I would find a pause in the conversation and attempt to change the subject and begin talking about other things. Several times I would intentionally say a good thing about the person she was talking about. I would match her point for point, every time she said a negative thing, I would say something positive about them. That worked for a while, she would get quiet, but I could tell it made her mad.
Finally of course, I had to come out and say it. (Did you ever notice how some people won't take a kind hint, or friendly redirection? They MAKE you be "mean" and hurt their feelings, because they just won't take the hint?? Ok thats another blog..) I finally had to ask her to please stop talking and gossipping about every one, that it made me uncomfortable, and that I didn't want to be a backstabber.
She got mad, stormed out of my house, and didn't speak to me for over a year. But she kept up with my comings and goings thru our friends, I was the subject of her obsessive gossipping for a very long time and many an insulting gossip session was held at my expense.
I don't care what people say about me. I care far more what they say to me. I don't wish to converse about the private problems, issues, shortcomings or bad luck that has befallen someone. Why kick someone when they are already having a hard time? What kind of friend is that? If my friend comes to visit me after something terrible has happened in my life, gets all the pain and anguish lowdown in her mental checklist, leaves me and then discloses all of my pain to someone else, simply for the sake of drama or pot-stirring, then that is not truly my friend. She is more of an enemy than the person who looks me in the eye and says, "Ya know, I just don't like you!" I have so much more respect for someone who is honest, yet respectful.
We don't all get along. No one is going to like everyone they come into contact with, but do we need to be the drama queen busybody that can't keep anything to ourselves? These kind of people seem to me to either be very unhappy or bored with their own lives, or the lack thereof, that they have NOTHING better to do than to gloat with glee at the sadness, misfortune or pain of another. I don't need "friends" like that. That isn't what a friend is. Furthermore, I never want to be that kind of "friend" . My friends know that when they tell me something, that it goes no further.
So I have attempted to live by the rule of three, when I am talking about someone. First is it true? Do I know for a FACT that what I aim saying is true? Second, is it Good? Is it something that is becomming or kind or helpful to anyone? and Third, Is it USEFUL. Is it really necessary for me to pass this information along. Can someone use it to bring something good about?
It has helped me so much in my own life, and yet at times I catch myself falling into that old trap, I think of this and stop, redirect my conversation and feel much better about myself, knowing that I did not hurt or damage someone, and in fact by following this, might actually have helped someone along the way.
It's funny, I've only recently come to this site, and have had a lot of fun here already. I've posted some corny jokes, I love to laugh, and thought maybe someone might get a smile out ot them. This is my second blog, and I enjoy doing this as well, But reading the comments on my own jokes or entries and noticing also on the majority of the other jokes or pictures posted, that the comments are UNBELIEVEABLE!
I simply MUST believe that these are teenagers attempting to prove their cool factor, or bragging, cursing to show that they are "grown", etc. but it is very sad , to me. I have never ever seen so much negativity in one place in my life!! It is almost as if they just HAVE to bring someone down a notch. Are they truly that miserable, that the only way they can feel "cool" grown" or "important" is to immediately and without reason or provocation, post comments of the most cruel and vile nature. Then it grows a life of its own and the comments end up not even being about the post, but simply a bunch of small minded people attempting to out" wit" each other. ( I use the term "wit" VERY loosely here lol)
Now, I am not saying EVERY comment is mean and nasty. I have had some very nice and pleasant comments. I have had some.."eh, it was ok, no big deal though" comments and I am sooo ok with that! Not every one is going to love the same things.I have absolutely NO problem with someone disagreeing with me or my viewpoint, but soooo much more respect it when it is done with some degree of decency, dignity, and respect. I will not lower my self to be disrespectful ,mean or ugly back to anyone. To the most hateful of them all, I will remain courteous and respectful, or I will remain silent.
My mother taught me early, If you have nothing kind or decent to say, say nothing.
So to all of you who enjoy anything at all that I post, or say, then I Thank you for watching, looking and replying. I love the responses EVEN IF YOU DISAGREE!!
To those who simply MUST uphold your "high level" of street cred and reputation for being the biggest badass, and simply can not refrain from the oh so cliche' "GAY" "STUPID" "$(^&)! $((%)^( you (%&*&#)@! (%%^#?")@" Then I say to you as well, thank you for replying, and I hope things get bett er for you as you mature and grow up. I won't lower myself to your IQ level, nor respond in kind. I will keep posting, for myself and for those who may find something to brighten their day, make them smile or make them think. I will not allow you or your opinion to control my actions. I will simply NOT react.
Thanks for reading through this blog, I wish you all the best and hope to return the favor of sharing fun things. I have so enjoyed reading the jokes and watching some of the videos here. Maybe I can make ya smile just for a minute before the world resumes kickin your butt. lol....Thanks again!! ;)