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Weird Pooping Habits

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We all poop, but do we all poop the same? Here is a list of things I do when I poop. Are these weird, unusual, or does everyone do this? If they are let me know, if you have some weird pooping habits as well let everyone know...

 

1) Put some TP on the water to prevent splash. Nothing worse than getting a butt hole full of gross toilet water.

 

2) Spread my cheeks when I sit down so the seat will hold them open, that way the shit never touches the cheeks.

 

3) Make sure I have a good view of shit coming out of my ass (wouldn't want to miss a good show)

 

4) Get a good whiff of the smell and try to guess what food you ate to make that smell.

 

5)When wiping, look at the TP to see the shit, and maybe smell it a little. Also, make sure your last wipe doesn't have a spec of brown on it, don't be afraid to go fingernail deep for a nice clean bung hole.

 

6) When throwing the TP in the toilet, make sure the toilet paper doesn't cover the poo   so when you are done you can see your masterpiece in full view.

 

7) Try to see if you recognize any food in your dump, if so, does the smell match the contents?

 

8) Flush using your foot...

 

 

Well that's about all I can think of but I would love to hear all of your weird pooping habits. Just keep it clean..... no pun intended.

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