Last year I had a dream one Sunday night. I’m not really sure what sparked its religious overtones seeing as I’m one of those “spiritual, but not religious types,” but it was rather vivid and a voice in the background narrating at some points throughout. I decided to write down what I could remember the next morning before heading off to work. I by no means think I’m a prophet, nor do I consider myself a God of any sort, so don’t let the reference distract you. It was simply an odd, vivid and lucid dream that I’d like to share. It’s a bit long, but that’s just a consequence of the details. There may be some inaccuracies, but keep in mind that it was only a dream. Enjoy.                                                                                            
No refunds of time will be given if you feel it was a waste of yours lol.

 It was a somewhat cold day on Sunday, the fourteenth day of the October month in the year of two-thousand and seven. There was only seventy-eight days left in the traditional calendar year until the turn of yet another year in the infancy of this twenty-first century. Yes, that cold day in Minnesota presented itself as just another “lazy day” in my eyes. Football was on the tube and nothing too torturous in regards to school weighed heavy on my mind any longer; I had a smile on my face, felt relieved, and a positive, warm feeling resonated throughout my living room. All of that while lounging out on my couch watching a sport of professional men throw, pass, tackle, run, hit each other and score on my television set- I was happy.
           
It was at this time something strange happened. With the rookie Adrian Peterson of the Minnesota Vikings shredding the Chicago Bears defense at will by means of his dancing feet, and showing his enigmatic ability to make a jaw-dropping turn-on-a-dime sprint, all the while making a “fake you out of your shoes” type cut at full-speed to the wide-open field in front of him. I began to feel something I‘ve never felt before. Something eerie, yet non-threatening appeared on my balcony of my apartment 100 feet from the ground as we know it- whoa, what the deuce? Through the closed water-spot stained sliding-glass door appeared what looked to me as an apparition. It appeared to have no distinguishing color, gender or height/weight proportion. What it did seem to me to be was out of place and not human. Were my eyes playing tricks on me? Did I not get enough sleep last night? This entity had taken full-control of my attention and had turned it from the TV to it, and then it spoke: “I am here to deliver upon you a message, one in which you will accept and see as your own life pursuit, an epiphany or prophecy if you will. You have had strong feelings about a certain world-wide threat that took place on the twentieth day of the third month in the year two-thousand and three, and has continued on to this present day.” I did the unconventional math and deciphered what it’d meant by this, and it continued.
           
“I am God, the LORD of all that breathes life on this planet. I am known as he who is worshipped in the houses of the holy known as churches, the house of the LORD. With your strong convictions about this war that is taking place in the once sovereign nation where I’d created the Garden of Eden, a holy place, you are to thwart the efforts of this ongoing damning against all humanity which is involved, and put a stop to it!” I thought to myself, “Am I dreaming?! What the fuck did I eat before this vision I’m receiving?” I tried pinching myself, but I didn’t feel it. Strange happening’s was all I could think. The LORD continued with his instructions, “You will carry out a sentence against the oppressors, the ones who had conjured up this radical idea which subsequently also led to the Sunni and Shi’a people engaging in a civil war, asymmetric warfare with the Iraqi insurgency, and leaving the nation in ruins without the benefit of hope! You will punish them with extreme prejudice by sickening their reptilian brains! Their self-serving and war-mongering efforts shall go down in history as one of the greatest atrocities against mankind! For this is not the way of the LORD, God almighty, as the faithful and believers know me!”
           
This communication was not spoken to me through the glass of my sliding-glass door, but rather as if I was wearing headphones. His mouth moved, but it was only in my head in which I heard it, though never through my ears. At this point, I turned off the TV, and walked into my bedroom. I turned on my computer, looked up “reptilian brain,” and learned that it’s where rational thought occurs. This, I know is God’s reasoning and rationale for my prophecy- to rid them of any further possibility to rationally think and cause further harm.
          
 I packed one week’s worth of clothes, hopped on a plane, and flew to Madrid. Madrid is where José Maria Aznar Lopez, the ruler of Spain at the time of the Iraqi invasion, and one of three in power who voted in favor of this war campaign had been. Very much to my surprise, President of the United States of America, George Bush, and former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, Tony Blair, were there in José’s company! “Surely this is the doing of God!” I proclaimed. How convenient is it that all three oppressors are here at once, in Spain of all places?!
           
I walked into the room in which these guilty men sat, and I yelled, “Silence!” Upon having their full-attention, I continued, “Hear me now as I am speaking the words of the LORD! You three have left part of this great earth in peril, and many more around the world are spiting you for doing so. Your constituents and supporters can do nothing about this but voice their anger, frustration, and pain they feel for what has come of this war! I come in the name of the LORD, and with my clear instructions, I am to render you incapable of making any rational thought from here until the day you pass on, and may God have mercy on you when that day comes!” At that moment, the three stood up with horror on their faces and a violent trembling in their body.
           
Tony was the first to compose himself, and he’d said, “Only the LORD almighty could make us feel as vulnerable as you have; your voice echoes the truth far and wide within us. We now know God has sent you as we’re unworthy of His presence alone. Prophet of the Lord, the one God all mighty in the Heavens, we have gathered here in conference today to speak of the wrong doings we have allowed to happen during our tenure in power over our great nations regarding the invasion. We are collaborating on what we can do, if anything, to right this horrible wrong. Please believe me when I tell you that what we allowed to happen for the reasons we did are by no means right and just! We abused our power, disregarded the cry of mercy from the United Nations, and thought nothing of the innocent lives we have become responsible for taking. Knowing this, we have come to accept a possible and well-deserved punishment that could equal, or surpass that of what we’ve caused. But please, I beg of you Prophet, have mercy! Let us do what’s right!”
           
God had said to me then, “Prophet, I feel Mr. Blair speaks from his heart when he says they know they’ve done wrong, that they’ve misappropriated their power and caused an injustice upon the sovereign and once holy and humble land. Though I don’t fully believe Mr. Bush has these exact convictions, I cannot single him out from Mr. Lopez and Mr. Blair.” So I said unto the three men, “Pray your God’s; repent and ask for forgiveness, and it shall be had if your heart truly professes it.”

At that moment the three men fell to their knees, took true aim at the heaven’s above in  hopes of feeling the Lord’s compassion and forgiveness and said, “Oh, Holy One, we have caused much pain in a land in which we had no right to invade. We played God ourselves with your people, and we feel stricken with shame, sorrow and guilt in doing so. We have reaped no benefit as we have lost many of our dutiful soldiers in the process of this horrible campaign. We beg your forgiveness, and in return honor Your name, and want to give all we have to help rebuild the sovereign nation of Iraq and its wonderful people. We will vanquish our personal asset accounts to the last penny, and give it all to the government of Iraq and its people to rebuild their land. We will ask other people of the world to do this in the name of decency and humanity, and implore many nations to also contribute. From this day on, this will be our mission until you are satisfied. Our humility is your abortion.”
           
And so it was. And God appointed me to oversee this project of humanity and decency. This is what became of my prophecy, this forthright effort of the three leaders was my call of duty, and it will be a great accomplishment. Project Restoration will bring in many dollars to help rebuild not only the state of Iraq, but its economic status, infrastructure, business sect, residential areas, airports, roads, and most importantly, its people’s faith. Iraq and its civilians will be in a better place than before because of Project Restoration and all the caring, thoughtful and compassionate individuals from around the world who donated their hard labor, money, clothes, food, and other various household items will find eternal salvation when it is their time.