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THE UNLUCKIEST MAN OF ALL TIME

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I just made a terrible realization. Let's face it, the bible is a book. It was written by someone. Who the fuck wrote it??? Whoever wrote it, I have concluded, is the unluckiest person in the history of ever (of all time). Here's why-

Take a rapper, any famous rapper. Chances are they grew up in the ghetto, and they have a fucked up family life, and there was murder and what not. Unlucky? NO!!!! They made it to the top, and got all the ass and weed they wanted. They struggled, but they got rewarded for it. (read on)

Van Gogh painted all his life, and what did he get for it? He got screwed. Unlucky? NO!!! Nothing compared to the bible guy. When Van Gogh died, after a while we started to appreciate his work. A few people have devoted their lives to painting like him. So he's dead, but he is remembered. (don't worry, I'm getting somewhere)

Finally, the bible guy. Holy shit. This man wrote a tome known as the holy bible, just as J K Rowling wrote about a wizard, his girlfriend, and a closeted homosexual 200 year old wizard. Just as I could write F*CK YOU on a comment to a video on this vewy website. He wrote this book, probably thought about it quite a bit, and had it bound, or whatever they did back in ye olde times. There it was. the bible. (finale comin up)

So here we are, today. There are how many millions of people that base their lives around this book? They base their eternal lives on the assumptions bible man made about whatever. There have been WARS FOUGHT OVER THIS BOOK! PEOPLE HAVE BANNED THEMSELVES FROM SEX FOREVER BECAUSE OF THIS BOOK!!! I COULD GO ON FOR DAYS!!! This book is hands down the most influential written thing EVER OF ALL TIME IN HISTORY FOREVER PLUS 5!!!!!

and what does this guy get? Nothing. He could be supreme ruler of the universe. He could easily have a statue in at least 30% of the cities in the WORLD! He could have an army of people that would kill their own mothers for him.

and god? FUCK GOD! HE IS GOD!

Homer wrote the odyssey. we don't know homer's real name. But we know Homer.

this guy doesn't even have a Pseudonym. Holy shit. I bet if he was alive and tried to tell people he wrote the bible, they would pull out a gun, put it to his forehead, and pull the trigger (for blasphemy, or whatever the f*ck). Now that is bad luck.

poopyturtle Uploaded 05/19/2008
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Tags: man ever bible guy

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