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Hands Down My Pants


I have a bad habit of sticking my hands down my pants. Whenever I'm just sitting around, I have my hands down my pants. When I'm reading a book, I have my hands down my pants. When I'm typing on eBaums, I have my hands down my pants. When I'm jerking off, I have my hands down my pants.

I have a classic case of BS (Bundy Syndrome). While it may be quite subtle, this disease can be quite embarrassing.

I was hanging out in a room with a couple lady friends, and we were kicking it oldschool watching Futurama. Naturally, I had my hands down my pants giving my balls a good jiggle. This didn't seem to bother them, so I didn't think anything of it. Suddenly, as if against my own will, my hands came out of my pants and travelled in the direction of my nose. I don't know why I went to smell my fingers, it must be human nature or something. I hear lots of stories about people smelling their own farts, smelling their fingers after it's been in their armpits or the crack of their ass; I've heard many frightening stories.

Following my natural human instinct, I brought my fingers up to my nose, and breathed deep the aroma of my own ball sweat.

What I smelled should not be smelled by any normal man. It took all my strength to not pass out in front of these girls. My fingers hit a spot of concentrated ball sweat, and I nearly gagged upon bringing that shit up to my nose. My hands were forever tainted.

"Ok, try and keep it low-key, Matt. Just quietly get up, go to the bathroom, and wash your hands." My brain said.


I should have been a little more surprised with how these girls took the news. One of them said, "Yeah, I thought I smelled something funny." The other went and got me hand lotion. After various lotions, soaps, and creams, my fingers went from smelling like ball sweat to ball sweat from a French prostitute. Not that I would know what ball sweat from a French prostitute smells like, or anything....

Needless to say, I didn't get laid that night.

maiorano84 Uploaded 05/22/2008
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