If you live in a medium to large town like I do, you likely have a super Wal Mart. And you likely visit that Wal Mart regularly. I go there about 2-4 times a week and have noticed the following quite frequently:


1. Employees suspiciously looking at you (sometimes even following you) for no apparent reason.

*Tip- Simply ask them if they have a problem. If they have no reasoning behind the staring, you could report them for harassment.

2. Couples holding hands, walking at 4 paces a minute. They like to block the isles to show off their romantic gestures.

*Tip- Quickly walk through their hands and say "Oops!"

3. As you leave the store, the alarm goes off. Though you haven't taken anything you are treated like a criminal.

*Tip- Unless the store has proof that you've stolen they have NO right to search you. Don't let the old greeter or any other store employee stop you from leaving the store.

4. Old folks driving the Wal-Mart scooters (or whatever they're called). Most of them insist that YOU move out of their way or they will "accidentally" hit you. I once had an old lady leave bruises down my leg from one of those.

*Tip- Let one hit you, fall on the floor and scream in pain. Let them have a taste of their own medicine.

5. Someones toddler running loose, acting like a wild animal. The child will often approach strangers and ask random questions. Just when you start wondering where the parents are, the mother shows up screaming with 3 other kids shoved in the cart.

*Tip- When the mother approaches, tell her that her kid begged for you to kidnap them.

6. Group of younger kids playing with the PS3's, XBox's, and Nintendos. You walk around electronics for about 20 minutes waiting for one single turn on (your favorite console) but the kids refuse to leave. You wonder why the parents aren't looking for them yet.

*Tip- Tell an employee that the children have hacked the parental controls and they are viewing X-rated scenes.

7. (In the parking lot.) Someone waiting for your spot before you even get your cart to your vehicle. If you don't bust your ass putting your groceries in, they become impatient.

*Tip- Take your sweet time.

Have fun standing your ground!