Dear PG,
A co-worker wants to carpool, and I know it's good for the planet, but I'm just not up for that kind of togetherness. Do you have any thoughts? - Hybrid Driver

Dear HD,
I agree, turning your car into a pool is an outstanding way to help the environment. Global warming is a serious threat that needs to be nipped in the bud. Al Gore has promised that if everyone uses stops using their cars, that he will stop warming up the Earth. I suggest you do everything in your power to help the cause. An added benefit of turning your car into a pool is that not only will you have an enjoyable place to spend your leisure-time, but the carpool will also act as a carbon dioxide sink. What happens is that the atmospheric carbon dioxide being unleashed by Al Gore's carbon dioxide machine (CDM) will interact with the open water creating a carbonic acid receptacle (called a metallosome). This vat will degrade the metal in the car, seep out and enter into the soil. Once entering in the soil, it will kill all life present (ranging from grass to bacteria to earthworms). These souls will then enter the cosmic realm forming what is known as an ectoplasmetheria (perhaps best known from the cinematograph "Ghostbusters II"). This ectoplasmetheria will turn all of us into evil angry people, we will form a mob, and destroy Al Gore (and thereby destroying his CDM. Unfortunately, he will have a backup destruction switch (guess who designed it? No, it was Guillaume de Villejuif, but that was a good guess also.) which will blow up the earth upon the failure of his CDM. But, I am not one to predict the future... I am but a humble scientist. However, since these events have an 83% probability of occurring (p<0.05), I think the best we can do right now is start pooling our automobiles together to form this metallosome. Hope that helps.

Love, Professor Genius

For more great advice, please peruse my blog at http://professorgenius.blogspot.com