Here are a few excerpts of funny letters to landlords.

The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.

I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfires and burnt my knob off.

This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door.

The toilet seat is cracked: where do I stand?

I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall.

I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk? Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now  pregnant.

Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it.

Could you please send someone to fix our bath tap? My wife got her toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable for us.

50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy

Will you please send a man to look at my water. It is a funny color and not fit to drink.

It’s the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow

I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.