Satirizing environmental terrorists
This is a paper i wrote for my english class, tell me if you like it...... I looked up a random town to base the story in
“Donald Trump coming to Weston” announced the weekly paper’s headline last fall. I immediately wondered what could be bringing The Donald to our fair city. I imagined he was coming to find contestants for his next episode of the “Apprentice.” However, upon reading the article, I came to learn his visit was more sinister. Mr. Trump intended to clear The Weston Town Forest in order to develop a new neighborhood of mega-mansions called “Forest Estates.” Home to deer, rabbits, coyotes, and butterflies, it has been a haven for people wanting to enjoy a quite stroll along its tree covered paths and to underage drinkers for generations. I couldn’t stand by and watch our town forest be clear-cut, simply to add a few more mansions to our already wealthy town, so I sprung into action.
I headed to the offices of (RICH) Residents Interested in Containing Housing, a group of Westoners interested in halting further development of our quaint little town. During the next few months we the RICH filed lawsuits intent on stopping the razing of the town forest, but to no avail. Bearing picket signs, whose posts we made from the trimmed branches our landscapers left us, we stood in front of the forest while Mr. Trump’s bulldozers and tree hauling trucks moved into place. Had the antique auction at the Golden Ball Tavern not interfered with our protest, we might have kept The Donald’s plans at a standstill. But as soon as we left for the auction, the first tree was felled. Further distracted by the flower show, the town election, and the High School graduation, we were shocked to see the first mansion halfway completed by the time we the RICH resumed our protest several weeks later.
Out of ideas to preserve our cherished town forest, we the RICH turned to the environmental extremist group TORCH (Taking Out Residential and Commercial Housing) for help. Perhaps we should have changed our minds when the group’s leader arrived in his bright yellow Hummer. Empty Aquafina bottles tumbled out the door as Ben Ladin, the maniacal looking leader of TORCH, got out of the vehicle. Casually, he tossed his nylon windbreaker over one shoulder with one hand, while crumpling and throwing aside the Burger King wrapper with the other. Lighting a large cigar, Ben Ladin convinced us through the smoke and to leave our litigating and protesting behind and to “fight fire with fire.”
Ben Ladin convinced us that burning down the first mega-mansion at Forest Estates, was the only way to preserve our beloved the town forest. This he assured us would send a message to The Donald and to all future developers intent on spoiling our local environment. Filled with enthusiasm, we marched to the partially completed home, poured gasoline over the framing, and watched with awe as Ben Ladin set the house ablaze with the tip of his lighted cigar. However our enthusiasm was rapidly quenched as the first of many flames leaped from the burning home to the adjacent trees.
After the fire destroyed the Town Forest, and the sub-prime mortgage crisis escalated, Mr. Trump lost interest in developing Forest Estates. Luckily for us, Walmart was looking for new retail space. Since the forest is no more, at least the land can be put to good use.