Fear And Loathing In Random Place Featuring Bonus Bad Karma and
One thing I love about myself is that I'm self correcting... when I'm faced with my own retarded attitude about shit and even hypocrisies with my all too enlightened point of view of life and people, I can adjust...or don't adjust my attitude...but I always learn a lesson and chalk one up for karma catching up with me.
Wednesday was bad karma day friends and foes.
Now some of you will weep with me, but most of you will laugh because I'm such a bitch most of the time, awe fuck it ... I'll laugh with you!!!! What happened was bad, but hey I met an awesome chemistry student at LSU offering a lesson to remember, a beautiful chick from North Carolina, A dude who gave me hope for the new generation who travels from coast to coast and just graduated from Columbia with a degree in Religion, A very well spoken middle aged guy on his way to spend time with his mom with cool ass stories to tell and a very enlightened point of view, a soldier on his way home from Iraq to his wife so he can be there when their baby is born on Monday and my dear friends, buddies and freaks I saw the one... the only... the Naked Cowboy! ROCK OUT WITH YA COCK OUT...ugh never mind.... keep them tidy whities on there Cowboy.
This guy is a douchebag!
He wears a fur coat when he travels, even in the summer.
Wish I could have shot this with my SKS instead of my cellphone.
Any fuckin way...what happened was this... I left my home in DC at 12:30 got to the airport for my flight to my home in New Orleans and found out it was delayed, got a standby booking on a later flight, then the storm that took out the air conditioning in the extremely hot airport delayed the flight even more so we sat on the tarmac for 3 hours before taking off. It's ok, only 1 of those hours was filled with screams of anguish from the lady seated in front of me. I think I'll forever hear her tormented cries of , "Let me off this plane, I gotta get off this plane!" I feel ya sister, I fuckin' feel ya! Still, I wanted to punch her in the face... kinda bad. And... my hair was getting nappier by the minute...you guys know I hate that. Speaking of nappy...
The guy sitting next to me the one that I shall always respect and remember because he showed me that I'm a big old hypocrite and full of shit seemed to be experiencing some nappiness too... he was african american. It's a shitty segway into the story... sorry.. keep reading. Anyway, sometimes I play a game of "lets not introduce ourselves shall we." Basically, if they don't tell me their name on their own, I don't ask it or volunteer mine... so I don't know his name but I do know he is a junior at LSU studying chemistry. I was sitting on the window seat, I alway chose the window because you only have to deal with one person sitting next to you and you can lean into the window area for more personal distancing. Also, a kind of unspoken rule is the poor sap, usually a new flyer, who gets the middle seat gets the arm rest, but only if the isle person and the window person adhere to the rules and let him know. I looked over at the curry eater on the isle and he was hogging the middle arm rest, I had my arm on the middle arm rest too, so little Bone Thug was all collapsed in trying not to touch us. Shit, I was feeling hostile. Besides I thought, "Look at him! He looks like a thug life wanna be." Then they started announcing even more delays and we were stuck on the tarmac waiting. I took out my tattoo magazines to read and lil Bone Thug took out his book. I glanced over so I could see what I expected would be the life story of someone like TuPac and was surprised as shit to see he was reading Antwone Fisher. I moved my arm off the middle arm rest , leaned into the window and told him, "Middle guy gets the arm rest."
A little later he signed and said, "I'm so hungry." I reached into my bag and got out a candy bar I got when I found out we were delayed and offered it to him. He protested a tiny bit, until I told him I had a luna bar in my purse, he didn't want to leave me without something to eat just in case. After he ate it we passed the time talking and he told me all about his family. He was one of the nicest people I have ever met and I couldn't have kicked it with a better dude, but he had to hand me my hypocrisy first...and he did it in such cool ass way, by just living his life in front of me.
In the end, I missed my connecting flight and stayed in Atlanta overnight. I was booked on a 7:25am flight to New Orleans so I passed on the hotel and stayed at the airport and took the travel kit so I could get a whore bath the next morning in the restroom.
I found some drinking buddies in Atlanta. We ended up drinking all the beer at Charley's Steakery, but it was just as well because they close the damned thing at 3am.
I walked the 18 miles (well it fucking felt like it) from one gate to the next in plenty of time to get some coffee because I was feeling like SHIT. I thought "Why the fuck did I drink when I was up all night! Awe well, at least by my calculations I should be in bed by 11:00 am, so I can deal with this." At this point I think Karma and Delta laughed then gave each other a hand job....to sort of seal my fate.
I called Alecks and told him when to pick me up and he said, "See ya later!"
Again Karma and Delta snickered madly in the background.
I boarded my 7:25 am flight (that almost seems funny..."flight".) to New Orleans... and after sitting there an unusually long time the pilot came on and said, "I'm sorry folks, but due to mechanical problems we are going to have some delays taking off. It shouldn't be too long. Thank you for your patience." I don't know what came over me but I started to giggle a little and just shake my head, I pushed out the thought of something really fucked up happening and replaced it with "It's a minor something, 10 minutes tops." After 30 minutes the pilot made another announcement that it was the shitters that were messed up and it would be a few more minutes. After an hour and a half he came on and said , "I'm sorry folk's but we are going to have to unload the plane. Please see the ticket agent for a new flight." AWE HELL NO! but yes... it was true....I was fucked again...a nice, slow, dry fucking.
Finally I saw her... the ticket agent, but I had to stand there for 10 minutes to focus to be able to. She said the earliest she could get me out to New Orleans was at 4:50pm. I smiled and got my bitch on and said, "Lady, I began my journey from hell yesterday..." and I took her threw the entire saga. She stood there looking at me like a blow up doll until I was finished then she blinked and started clacking her nails on the keyboard. "The best I can do is to send you to Cincinnati on the 10:40 am with a connecting flight to New Orleans leaving Cincinnati at 1:25pm arriving at 2:38pm." I was whipped and I knew it so I said, "Awe fuck it, I'll take it."
I went to the smoke room and called Alecks to tell him when my new flight *might* be coming in. When we were hanging up he said, "See ya later." I said, "Not if Delta has anything to do with it." Then I broke down in a 10 minute fit of hysterical laughter.
I got to Cinci on time... and saw the Naked Cowboy on his way to Memphis. My flight from Cinci to New Orleans was great except I kept dozing off and waking up to find half a titty hangin out and drool on my chin... awe fuck it ..I was so tired at that point I didn't care if buck naked...cowboy.