My First Date! True Story!
My first date was a memorable one and I'd like to share that evening with you. This is a true story. I eagerly awaited picking this girl up all day, the type of girl you daydream about. Fine as hell in an 80's sort of way. I pulled up in front of her house in my hooptie pickup truck and walked up to her door to ring the doorbell. It was spring so the walkway that led to her house was lined with all types of blooming vines and flowering plants that smelled wonderful, setting the mood even better than I had hoped. I walked her back down that same bloom lined path to my car and like a gentleman, I opened the door for her let her in and shut it behind her. As I walked around the back of my truck to get to the drivers side door, that's when all those blossoms triggered my histamine response. I felt a sneeze coming on like never before. I always have a bad case of head depressurization for ten minutes after I sneeze; they are violent, and always result in a runny nose afterwards. So I fought it off, hard. I got in the truck (hooptie) to discover she was struggling with the window which was manual and stuck, so I reached over to use my manly strength to unroll it for her and it hit me all at once...there was nothing I could do. I sneezed the hardest sneeze I can ever rememeber sneezing. When I opened my eyes, time stopped as I noticed the expression on her horrified face glazing downward toward her hand. Following her gaze I noticed I had given birth to, launched, and planted the largest loogie on the back of her hand I had ever seen. As heat filled my face with embarrassment, she opened the car door and ran back in the house. I never heard from or saw her again.