Can't afford Taco Bell, just rob a bank!
I swear this is a true story... just happened yesterday.
So this guy goes into Taco Bell to buy some lunch, he goes to pay for his order and the debit card machine isn't working (I've eaten there recently and they've been broken for a couple weeks now) and they tell this guy they can't take his card - cash only.
The guy gets annoyed and tells them he doesn't have any cash, so they say 'Then you don't got no tacos, Señor!' Of course he did the only thing that any reasonable person could do - he went next door and robbed the bank.
The cops here were going crazy, must have been 20 of them, we're in a fairly quiet town so something like this gets the whole force on call. They were in my office park driving like maniacs - cars, motorcycles, they even called in the chopper. With this many police on the case you know they caught the guy in no time. Oh... wait... no they didn't, he took his bag o' cash and left - he's still out there.
So if you see a dude with a backpack full of cash scoring some tacos, tell him we said hi.