Whats good for the Goose, isnt good for me
When I pulled into the parking lot at work I was relieved that the goose that had been pestering me the last couple days was not in its usual spot. Today would be an easy walk from my car to the office... or so I thought.
The goose had made its nest right in the path from my car to the office door and we had many an encounter. Mostly they consisted of him growling at me and me surveying my surroundings for sharp objects to hit him with should he get too close. But today was different. Today i had a clear path.
When I got halfway to the door I spotted my unfriendly foe out of the corner of my eye. He was on the other side of the parking lot. I tried to avoid making eye contact with the mighty beast but I had failed at doing so. When the two of us locked eyes he got up, spread his wings, and came flying right towards me. I froze. I looked at the office door, then back and the winged monster. There was no way I could make it to the door in time. So I turned around and took of running. And if that wasnt cowardly enough, I also let out a loud cry that no man should ever make.
When I looked back, the goose had made a sudden right turn and landed 30 feet away from. I could tell he was incredibly amussed by my disgusting display of cowardice. But the only thing that mattered to me at this time was getting to the office door. So I took off running and made it without a scratch, but hoped no one had witnessed the ugly scene that had just transpired - a memeber of the human race defeated by a lowly bird.
When lunch came around I knew I would run into the great goose once again. When I got to the office door I could see him perched by his nest basking in his earlier victory. But this time I had a plan for him.
As I stepped out the door I made sure to hide myself from him. I then began to walk the perimeter of the parking lot and enter my car from behind him. This way he would not be able to spot me until I got to my car door. When I finally arrived at the car i got the goose's attention so I could taunt him. Because at this point we both knew any attempt he made to strike would be thwarted by me jumping in my car. So when we locked eyes I was surprised to see a slight smirk on his face. It was a look that can only be descibed as restrained jubilation. And this looked had me puzzled. Until he began to nod his head towards the ground as if to tell me to look down. So I complied with the goose's request. And it was at that point that I noticed I had been standing in a huge pile of goose shit... His shit. Beaten again by a goddamn goose