Alright, let's see.... Fukin'... Um... The life of the sad penis:  His hair is always a mess...  His neighbor is an asshole.... His best friend is a pussy.... And his owner beats him everynight.  

Alright. The life of an asshole:  He smells like shit.  His neighbor is a dickhead.  Women hate him.  And... the only pleasure he can get... is DICK.  What a life.  Life stinks... doesn't it?

Life of an alcholic:  Let's see.  His best friend is a beast.  From Milwakee (can't rememberhow to spell that lame ass town) it's always 40 o' clock. Mostly 30 o'clock. Cigarettes are cookies. Beer is milk. Burps are toasts. Farts are thanks.  Keystone Light takes awhile.  And forget that shit about the lime with the Yukon Jack.  Oh yeah.   Fuck SoCo.  Bad times.. Bad times, what ya gonna do with ah bruise on yah dome.. Charlie Charlie.... Damn I have some stories about him. 

If you have ever taken a shower while sippin' a brew.. You might be an alcholic.  If you've ever bought the cheapest beer... to get faded... you ARE an alcholic.  If you have a sign that says its five o'clock somewhere on your fridge.. you might be an alcholic.  If you ever stayed up 'till 3 A.M. in da mornin', talking to people that aren't even there... you need some drug rehab.  If you have a poker table that you eat breakfast on (true fucking story) you have some life issues.  Probably alcohol.  If you can't remember the words you are trying to write...f dsaff godfds god orr no.... Okay, I'll focus.... If lyou can'tdas  if you can't remember how to type... .you are fUCKked UP!!!!

Damn I'm drunk.

If you drink a beer 'cuz you are craving water... You probably need water!

If you've ever woken up in the morning and can't remember the night before... It is a false dawn.

Heheh Charlie is more that collaborator than I am here... And it is so much fun.   Don't worry, I'll fill you in on the details later. He is so gay and I am so straight. And I can't remember who's ass I pulled my head out of last night. Nah, we're both straight. Good times. See the videos.

Goddammit.... Fucking Charlie gave me two cigarettes and smoked 18.  Bastard. Now I have to roll him one. Ass.

Anywho... Charlie made out with a quite large chick... I love that shit.   He said she was a "big" chick.  Heh heh.  Funny... Happens that she was the sister of a co-worker.  Who happened to be there at the same time. And also the father. Who was encouraging him.   Wow.   I envy his ass. I wasn't drunk enough to join him.  He is more of an alcoholic than I am.. Yet, I will drink more tonight, because he is at my house and I spiked his beer. Yay.

If your idol is Ron White.... You have watched too much Jeff Foxworthy.

Yes.

If you are white and you can only rap when you're drunk... You ARE Charlie.  True.  Heh.  Motherfucker. 

Yea... I know bitch... Charlie is envious of my typing skills.  And I only took 9.2 times to type that. Sad.  Charlie gave me a word of advice.... he told me he could finger pick better than I could type.  Asshole.

this is charles. umm... seen it. i got to work in less than 12 hours. may seem like a long time to u. but that probably meens you ain't an ALCOHOLIC BITCHES. WERE IS THAT KEY. OH...   !bam.