SHIT! I am an old faggot pussy!
I have just come to the realization, that I am a fucking pussy. Weak piece of shit worthless fuck.
Who is it that turned me this way?
Was it a badass in the shadows mother fucker I met in an alley when he was trying to beat up a defenseless girl, that I tried to stop. That turned me into a pussy? NO
Was it another user at ebaums, who tried to slander me using remedial computer skills and lame blogs? NO
Was it a bouncer at a club who whooped my ass when I almost knocked-the-fuck out of some douchebag who was talkin shit to my girl who turned me into a pussy? NO
A fucking one year old!
Who doesn't have communication skills for shit. Who can't make a witty comeback to save his life. Who can't fight worth a fuck and would never be able to whoop my ass.
But this damn kid... has turned me into a sniveling little bitch more times than I can remember. He makes me say lame shit, coo at him and make retarded fucking faces. He makes me talk like the biggest godamn pansey you have heard! He makes me buy him shit without asking, without even being there! He makes me put his welfare before my own, and makes me feel that there is NOTHING more important then his well-being. I would kill for him, and mame, and torture, and just plain FUCK UP ANYONE who wished him harm.
He makes me realize what a piece of shit I am. What a worthless excuse for a human being I can be... and he NEVER SAYS A WORD! He can make you sorry for even thinking a shitty thought just by the shear grace of his smile. He can cause you to be sorry for shit you did that you didn't even remember doing! He can make me see how far we have come in our search for perfection and how godamn far away we still are.
I used to listen to people talk about their kids, with their lame slide shows of trips and retarded fucking pictures of dumb-ass birthday parties, and I used to think to myself:
"Self... What a fucking douchebag, minivan driving, fucking homo pansey it takes to do this shit, and say this shit, THAT NOONE FUCKING CARES ABOUT! Really! I could give a fuck less what your kid said at dinner yesterday, you pussy bitch!"
But now, guess what? I am that pussy bitch! I am that boring, lame loser who hs pictures of his boy in his wallet. I am that pathetic idiot that feels like writing a blog about his kid's first steps, AND GODDAMNIT I AM GONNA DO IT! WATCH!
Therefore, I do not blame anyone for thinking this is lame or pansified. as that is EXACTLY what I `would said to this blog 2 years ago. Fuck me! What a boring faggot douchebag SUV-drivin (fuck minivans for life), pussy. I am.
And I am fucking proud to be... so fuck you beforehand.
Namaste, motherfuckers (see... I use cursing to feel more manly)