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Things You Don't Need to Know

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I'm currently reading "The Amazing Book of Useless Information" by Noel Botham. It's a collection of trivial bits of information that makes for great bathroom reading! Reading while I poop is my second favorite activity. You can see a photo of me in action in killerisme's gallery: "Faces Behind The Keyboard V."

Some of the things I've read in the book so far are worthy of sharing with you, my fellow sick and twisted eBaumanians. I didn't want this to be a copypasta blog, so I have added some of my musings on the factoids. Botham doesn't list his sources so I must take him at his word and assume the tidbits are true. Things I never knew...

*For every "normal" web page there are 5 porn pages. (AWsmith and DirtySanchez have viewed them all.)

*In the 10th century, any cleric who experienced a wet dream was required to sing a penance of 7 prescribed psalms right after the fact and an additional 30 in the morning. (I'm guessing that's how singing in the shower started.)

*In 1869 Dr. George Taylor invented the first vibrator. It was intended as a cure for many female problems and was STEAM POWERED. (Susan, how come we've been going through so much coal lately?)

*In North Carolina it's illegal to have sex with a drunken fish. (It's not helping; their dicks still smell of tuna.)

*The average length of a human penis is 6 inches. The smallest ever documented was ONE CENTIMETER! (That, my friends, is called a clit!)

*There are more 20-year-old virgins today than in the 1950's (There were even MORE when I was in High School.)

*According to Playboy, black women are more likely than white women to have orgasms during sex. (I won't state the obvious but I"m guessing along the same rationale, white chicks have orgasms more often during sex than Asian women.)

*A 1996 study found that homophobic men registered a higher arousal rate when showed gay porn did men with ambivalent attitudes toward gays. (That must mean they are a bunch of fags, in which case, I hate them!)

*The male fetus can get an erection during the third trimester. (Anticipation of seeing their first vagina, me thinks.)

*The female bedbug has no vaginal opening so the male uses his curved penis to "drill" one. (That's why I like dead chicks; you can make a hole wherever you want!)

 *70% of women would rather have chocolate than sex. (90% of men would rather not have sex with a woman who sits around eating chocolate all day.)

*Oculolinctus is a fetish whereby people are aroused by licking their partners' eyeballs. (I'm sure the Germans or Japanese have porn of it somewhere and I'm POSITIVE AWsmith and DirtySanchez have monthly subscriptions.)

Well, kiddos, I hope you learned some things tonight. Feel free to print out this blog and read it while taking a crap.

ugdork~

 

ugdork Uploaded 12/20/2008
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