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your last seconds

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that morning i woke up at the usuall hour to get ready for work. stumbling into the bathroom, cold tile waking my feet before the fog of sleep had completely evaporated from my tired brain, i flicked on the light and winced at the brightness. my bladder was full, but trying to piss was an exercise in futility. at my age the prostate controlled when i peed, not my bladder. "well, fuck" i said as i turned the shower on. stepping out of the shower i could hear the bustle of morning from the family. my wife always got uplate thus sending the morning into a tailspin of barking out orders to the kids and threats of beatings if they didnt hurry. i left the house in a shitty mood because i had gotten into a shouting match with my beloved and perpetually late wife. on top of all this i still hadent pissed and i was late also. pulling out of my drive my phone rang. my boss. i answered it and proceeded to get my ass shreded from top to bottom for being late and leaving him stuck out. we were down three guys and he depended on me to be there early everyday and blah blah blah blah...i never saw the stoplight or the city bus. ya know how athletes say that time slows down in the heat of athletic compitition? well, being an overweight middleaged man with an enlarging prostate and high blood pressure, i wouldn't know about that. what i do know is when a bus grill is right outside your 1997 honda accords driverside window time STOPS. i saw every insect that had committed suicide against it's grill, the look on the poor drivers face, a boy of maybe 15 in the very first seat. i dont know how fast the bus was traveling, but the impact was devistating. a shower of glass shrapnel met my face in an instant, closely followed by the bug splattered grille. metal crumpled, split, tore. my bladder finnaly let go as did my bowels. the car, which had just recently had it's full services done, tipped and whent over on it's passenger side still being pushed by the bus. my skull had cracked open to expose that not to recently sleep fogged brain to the outside world. blood rushed as if a fountain had been turned on inside my head. every bone on my left side had been obliterated, no longer supporting the jelly that my muscle and skin had become on that side. the impact had caused the bus to curve slightly to the left and as it had been pushing my car we were stopped by the stoplight pole i had forgotten to notice. the roof of my car smashed into it buckling and pressed down onto my already destroyed and lifeless body. teeth and brain plopped on my passenger window, blood ran in rivers on the uhpolstry. when time had stopped right before impact, do you know what my last thought was? i had told my wife that she was a stupid bitch and needed to pull her head out of her ass. yeah. my life ended with those acidic words in her ears. just remember one thing: we are always one inch, one second, one decision away from death. live life that way and treat your loved ones that way and i don't think you will have to worry about your last second on this planet.

AWFULJACKASS Uploaded 12/25/2008
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Tags: death life

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