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Smashy Smashy

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So I started playing Super Smash Brothers Brawl again.

Like any self-respecting little nerdling, I was fifth in line for the midnight release. Of course, what that meant was there were a bunch of annoying kids and even more annoying parents in line with them as well.

Originally, the game was slated for release in December of '07. I jumped on that shit immediately and got my reservation in October. Five whole dollars were put towards that game, and I'll be damned if I was going to miss my copy.

But alas, the game was pushed back to February 10th. And then it was pushed back again to March 9th. That means that I had that game reserved for almost 5 months.

Dedication and self-loathing doesn't get any better than this, friends.

Which is why when some ignorant black woman started ranting and raving at the manager of the Game Stop I frequent, who also happens to be a pretty good friend of mine, about how she didn't KNOW you had to have a reservation in order to get a copy and that it wasn't properly advertised (it was right in the window) that I get kind of irritated.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but everybody in line has a reservation."

"YOU DI'NT HAVE DAT AVERTIZED!!! I WANNA TALK TO YO MANAGER!!!"

"I am the manager. There's nothing we can do for you."

"WELL WHO CAN I TALK TO DAT CAN DO SOMETHING FO ME!?!?"

Against my better judgment, I jumped in.

"He can't do anything. What part didn't you get about that!?"

Her eyes bulged out of her skull as if I had taken a dump in her fried chicken. I mimicked that ridiculous look on her face.

"What the fuck did you say to me, cracka!?"

For some reason, this pushed me over the edge.

"You had better close that pretty mouth of yours before I break it, bitch! Who the hell do you think you are!?"

"I WASN'T TALKING TO YO ASS, CRACKA!!! YOU BEST BACK OFF BEFORE I POUND YO SKINNY WHITE ASS!!!"

Surprisingly, it was a pretty quick retort. I was also in unfamiliar territory. Everybody's eyes were on us, and I'm not used to being the center of attention, let alone getting into fights with black women. In either case, I was at the point of no return. I would either back off and surrender my position in line to cool off, or I would hold my ground.

Working in customer service, I have to deal with a lot of shit. That day, I simply let loose without caring about the consequences. It didn't even feel real when I heard the words leaving my mouth:

"Maybe YOU had better back off before you realize you can't pay for this game with your food stamps."

Point, set, match.

All the air had been sucked out of that entire zip code. From where we were standing, not a sound could be heard except for the sounds of everybody's toes freezing off in the winter air. Her eyes were locked with mine, and I prepared for the haymaker that was sure to come.

After a full ten seconds of facing each other, she suddenly turned, thanked my friend, and walked off. I heard her mutter a few more "cracka"s on the way as she waddled her way to her car, and it was only after she had driven off that my friend turned to me.

"I'm giving you my discount. That was vicious, bro."

"I thought you guys didn't get discounts-"

"Shut up, asshole."

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In any case, feel free to post your Smash codes here. If enough of you have the game with a WiFi connection, perhaps the first eBaumsWorld video game tournament is in order.

0387-8456-3001

maiorano84 Uploaded 12/28/2008
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