Now I know why there is a waiting period for handguns. I was pulling onto the highway on my way to work yesterday and would have happily shot another driver.

Entering Freeway: Emergency Stopping Only.

No yield sign.

Paid attention in drivers ed.

All these things tells me when you enter a freeway you speed up to the appropriate speed to merge into traffic. Said traffic must make adjustments to make sure there is no major carnage. As I was pulling into traffic I noticed the guy in the lane I was about to enter watching me for the entire time it took me to get from the on ramp to being in traffic. This on ramp is a two hundred feet long if its anything. The guy knows Im there. His speed (55 MPH on this part of the freeway.) pretty much matches mine. His cars front bumper overlaps my back bumper by about a foot. So, to be perfectly concise ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS TAP HIS FUCKING BRAKES ONCE to allow me into traffic. We made eye contact a good two hundred feet back so I figure Im good. As I pull in to his lane I notice in my rear view mirror the front of his car do a nose dive like he jammed on the brakes. Then he flips me off. The fucker is like 70 with his wife that is about 100. The fucker not only had the balls to watch me the entire time I was speeding up to get on the freeway he actually flipped me off in righteous indignation that I was the douche bag that came out of nowhere and cut him off. The Italian in me screamed FOLLOW THAT FUCKER and beat him. The guy in me screamed JAIL BAD. So I went to work and was pissed most of the day.

More shit that pisses me off about fuck tard drivers:

Turn signals ARE NOT optional. Nor are they to be used AFTER you merge into the turn lane. Youre in the turn lane, now we KNOW YOURE TURNING. That information would have been helpful before you actually turned.

Just drive. Dont talk on the cell phone. Dont look at a map. Dont talk to your passenger if you arent coordinated enough to walk and chew gum at the same time. JUST FUCKING DRIVE.

Look around you. Those other moving things are cars with people in them that have shit to do. I know, Im one of them. If you are looking for an address, building, street, hookerwhatever, be aware of the person behind you that is wondering what the fuck you are doing. Pull over after using your turn signal so we can pass.

This one drives me right through the roof. If there are two lanes and you are making a left hand turn, make sure your turn signal is on BEFORE you get to the light so we know to drive around you BEFORE we are stuck behind you. This one really sucks in the winter around here because we are on the side of a hill.

If you cant remember these things you have two options:

1) Drive like there is a cop behind you and you just slammed a six pack.

2) Park your car in the driveway and take the bus.