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Childhood Masturbation

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e5hansej wrote in a comment to Bohank's atonement blog that the only thing he regrets is not masturbating more as a child. I can state with cinfidence that I don't share that regret.

I have plenty of childhood memories. I can remember events that happened when I was a toddler. My earliest sexual memories (aside from being forced to perform nasty acts on DirtySanchez by our preschool teacher as she taped it on her Super8 Bell & Howell) are of me as a child of 3 or 4 looking through some childhood developement books my folks had. There was a photo of a girl about my age putting on her underpants. I used to look at the photo and get a throbbin' boy-boner.

I have blogged before about my uptight Catholic mom and her shame-based attutudes toward sex so I won't go into the guilt associated with my 'being nasty.' I felt very nasty looking at the photo but my loins were egging me on.

One night, at the age of 9, I was laying in bed thinking nasty thoughts and I began humping my mattress. I had seen the oblique sex-ed films in school and had a rudimentary concept of sex. I also liked girls a BUNCH, so there I was, probably fantasizing about a classmate, rubbing my pinky-sized prick raw on the sheets and it began to feel good. Then it began to feel REALLY good. Then it began to feel GREAT. Then...then...then...WOW!!!

At the age of 9 I had experienced my first orgasm. There was even a little bit of fluid, though not in the same amount as one produces post-puberty.

Suddenly I understood why sex was such a taboo, glorified, mysterious thing. I found it curious that my arousal vanished the moment I busted a peanut. All of those dirty jokes I had overheard the adults telling throughout the years and had stored in my mental rolodex suddenly made sense.

Needless to say my Hot Wheels became my SECOND favorite toy. I would masturbate on a nearly daily basis for years. I gradueated to humping my pillow but didn't enjoy my penicular appendage being chaffed by my Roadrunner pilowcase so I found that if I lay on my tummy and lube my hand with saliva, I could have slidy fun humping my hand.

I soon found that photos of girls in bathing suits or shorts would help the fantasy along and began collecting magazine clippings. Sears catalogs were GREAT!!! (This was before the internet, mind you)

So there it is. The genesis of my pervdom. Thanks to masturbation I've busted more nuts than the Planters factory. Now if you'll excuse me...

ugdork Uploaded 01/05/2009
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