INSTEAD OF Drug Dealer

I AM A... Street-side Pharmaceutical Vendor

INSTEAD OF Burger Flipper

I AM A... Meat Somersault Master

INSTEAD OF Level 80 Undead Rogue

I AM A... Alternative Character Progress Hindering Enforcement Personel

INSTEAD OF Internet Junkie

I AM A... Socially Impaired Entertainment Seeker

INSTEAD OF Alcoholic

I AM A... Beverage Critic

INSTEAD OF Tech Support

I AM A... Patience Possessing Aid of the Unfortunate

INSTEAD OF Music Artist

I AM A... Metronomically Endowed Capitalist of Consumer Audible Enjoyment

INSTEAD OF Bartender

I AM A... DWI Accomplice

INSTEAD OF Masturbator

I AM A... Enjoyment Soloist