Detox!!! Shit, what did I get myself into?!?!?!
It's amazing that pussy holds so much power. What men are willing to agree to in the heat of the moment could fill a thousand blogs by themselves. I have often thought of compiling a list of all the stupid shit I have said, or agreed to during sex. It's no fair that women will use that vulnerable time to get us to agree to do shit we would never have agreed to under any other circumstances. (maybe this will spring a theme of blogs regarding this?)
My wife and I are enjoying the company of her father and his wife for the next week and a half, making it two weeks total with the in-laws. They are mormons, and aside from feeling guilty about having a beer or two after work everyday this week, I also have to refrain from my nightly joint, out of respect for our guests.
The lack of sex alone is disturbing, but on top of that, my wife reminded me last night, after spending $160 at Sprouts (a health food market type place), while she was sorting and cutting and preparing massive amounts of veggies and other fresh healthy crap, that I had agreed to join her in her yearly Detox. I remember the last two times she did this, in years past, but I damn sure didn't want to do it myself.
But I agreed to it? Are you crazy? We were mid-position change and I am sure that whatever I said should not have been remembered at a time when we are both naked and sweaty and stupid. But she held me to it.
I can't back out now. She is the coolest chick I have ever known, and the amount of time and money she is putting into this vetos my desire to back out. So that's it, I am on a two week detox, free from sugar, milks, caffeine, and grease, the staples of my diet since I was 13.
No more Dollar menu items every morning from Wendy's or McDs, or BK... No more secret stashes of chips and double-stacked toasted BMTs from subway. No more Panda Express and Sushi for lunches.
Supposedly, the third day is the toughest, when your body is SCREAMING for any kind of toxin... or grease or free-radical. Which is why you start these on a Friday, so your worst days are on the weekend, and noone at my job will be in danger of losing their life.
This morning, when she made her daily morning call to me after she drops the boys off at daycare, she reminded me of ebaums. "Just blog about it everyday, get your frustrations out at ebaums. Then at the end you can go back and read the daily blogs you made and laugh about how hard it was at the beginning. hahahaha " FUCK.
She is so cute. Fuck it, I will try to do this for her sake. But how will i survive without COFFEE!? I can't believe I am drinking Lemon water all fucking day. This trip will be hell and I promise to share every disastrous, hurting, tortured moment with you guys.
So as I end this, it is 9:30am in AZ and I still have half-hour before my 10:00 snack of celery and carrots, fucking yay.
Who else has done this kind of shit and WHY?! Was it worth it?
I am HunterDad, and I am in hell...