Not suitable for children.

If any of you have ever been into a sex shop, you probably know what I'm talking about... they are freaking scary.

I was near my old highschool, getting ready to pick my sister up, and her friend, after school.  About 10 minutes down the road there is this sex shop.  I'm not telling you the name because that would most definitely give away my location, but anyway...

I decide it's about time to get a new vibrator.  I'd already gone through two that I acquired from my ex-boyfriend who bought them in the hopes of using them with me/breaking me out of my virginal shell.  Well, it made me pretty much horny all the time, but I'm still in my virginal shell.

Back to the point.  I need a new vibrator.  I'd been horny for weeks, and tried curing it the manual way, but girls like their electronics just as much as the boys do.

I drive down with about 45 minutes before my sister gets out of school.  I pull into the parking lot and sit in my car, hyperventilating about what exactly I will find when I get inside.  I take the walk up the little sidewalk to the door with blacked-out windows, and step inside.

First of all, it took me about a decade for my eyes to adjust because it was blackhold darkness in this place.  Negative light.  First thing I see is the fat balding old creepy clerk behind the register, eyeballing me up.  Then there's a dude looking at all the videos.  So it was me, a helpless little 19-year-old, and two creepers.

I scurry over to the corner where the sex-toys are and carefully examine each one, comparing prices and uses, all the while my cheeks turning red because I can feel the two lechers staring holes into my back.  I find a rabbit vibrator.  It's pink with spinning beads, and the tip swivels.  And then of course the rabbit ears.  I walk past Creepledee and take the box to Creppledum behind the register.

"That'll be $62.57," and then I could hear him thinking "take off your shirt, take off your shirt, take off your shirt."

I toss my debit card at him and wait another decade for the machine to process it.  It's approved, of course, and I snatch up the bag and make a hasty exit.

I get to my car and realize I still have to pick my sister up.  Where the fuck am I going to put this thing?  It won't fit in my purse.  It won't fit under my seat.  I can't stick it in the trunk because it's full of bags I was supposed to take to goodwill weeks ago.  So what do I do?  Set it beside me on the left side of my seat against the door.  Hopefully nobody will see the black bag it's in.

I pick my sister and her friend up from school, drop her friend off, then arrive home.

Immediately, I have to get upstairs to try the bad boy out.

Stay tuned for the story of how I broke it already.

Oh, and I changed my avatar again, yes, that is indeed me, I thought one where you can actually see my mug would work a little better.