Most anyone familiar with the military knows that expression. Hurry up and wait. It captures the irony of our existence, in the way we rush to stick to schedule only to encounter significant downtime at every delay. For example, when you're hauling ass getting a bunch of gear and bodies in place for movement and training, only to wind up waiting on the buses to arrive. So, after getting up at zero-dark-thirty and spending all morning making sure your shit's wired tight and ready to go and everything is where it needs to be when it needs to be there... you wind up sitting on your ass, waiting for the one small portion of the schedule that didn't go to plan, and thinking to yourself "I could've slept in."

So here I am at AP Hill, and lo, do I discover that the computers here don't restrict me from reaching the EBW blog pages. That's right fuckers... you're stuck with me for the next two weeks, sitting around at a training facility, during a training excersise in which my only part to play is small and easily completed... leaving me with lots of downtime and nothing better to do than come here. Rejoice.

Not much exciting for me to say here, unfortunately, besides informing you all that I'll be around much more frequently for the next 15 days. Not much going on in the world but boring old politics (is anyone else laughing at Blagojevich as hard as I am? The guy is fuckin amazing in his capacity to just blatantly and obviously spew bullshit).

Buuut I won't get into that here. There's such a small audience here for politics. I doubt I'll blog much, if nothing particularly interesting comes up, but I'll certainly be hanging around putting my two cents in on anyone who's brilliant enough (or, much more likely, retarded enough) to gain my attention.

In other news, I got myself a girlfriend, and I'm robbing the cradle like it's a competition for "Pedophile of the Year". Don't worry, she's legal . As of this past October. But she's still in highschool, and I'm 26, soooo yeah. I never hear the end of it from my buddies, asking me things like "Who's her favorite Power Ranger?" and "When she sucks your dick, do you have to make airplane noises to get it in her mouth?" I don't care though, she's pretty, she's smarter than most of you are (she's going to college after she graduates to be a biogenetic engineer. Take that, eggheads) and, last but certainly not least, she can bend and twist into just about any position you can think of (she swims, she dances, and she does yoga. Take that, perverts). So she makes me happy. Very, very happy.

I am Kaustic, and you all are going to replace my girlfriend for the next two weeks.... so bend over.