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Tips for all you forgetful motherfuckers out there...

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This blog is mainly for the men, though there are a few women here who may value this information...

 

We have all been there.  The torment you receive for forgetting an anniversary or god forbid a birthday of a significant other... the horrid feeling of seeing someone you haven't come across for some time, and they remember everything about you, but you can't recall their name... Well I have solutions for both.

 

Most of us know the "approximate" date of such events so we will start there...

 

Most recently, I used this for my anniversary, and then again later that day when an old business colegue stopped by the office...

 

First off, most of us have a calendar in our kitchen, or atleast somewhere in our house... Mine is in our Kitchen/Family Room.  I will use my anniversary as an example.

 

Make sure your wife is standing near the calendar and you are NOT.  Then you bring up your anniversary or other important date and then assume a posture and facial feature of confusion, while asking... "Honey... What day does our anniversary fall on this year?"  She will undoubtedly grab the calendar and go to the month in question (which you should know, if not, you are too far stupid for any help).  Then she will run her finger to the day and state the name of the weekday it falls on.  Just keep an eye on where at on the calendar her finger is and remember that she said "This year it's on Friday honey!  We can go out!"  As you reply "Good deal, I thought it was Friday, and my plans will work better on a Friday ..." or whatever other bullshit gets you past the subject.  Once she leaves the room, go down that column of the month and you will most likely be able to pinpoint the exact date.  Then try to remember it for fucks sake!

 

Now for the collegue whose name I couldn't remember for the life of me.  I felt so bad that he remembered so much and after reminiscing for over 10 minutes, I didn't have the heart to ask "What was your name again?"... so I simply grab a piece of paper and ask for his number, succeeded with a request along the lines of "So how do you spell your name again?"

 

The only this will not work if you are unlucky enough to be talking to good 'ol TIM, or JOE.  But most likely, with most names, like Steven, or Jessie, that can be spelled many ways (especially with the stupid trend of spelling names "uniquely") you will skirt by when he says "Markus, with a K".  You reply with... "That's right...." as you write it down.   This one is not as fool proof as the date one, but you get the drift...  Hell even Mike can be several different variations, with MICHAEL being a good excuse for why you asked.

 

Just some tips from a fellow forgetful douchebag.

 

I am HunterDad and I could actually give a shit less......

 

 

 

HunterDad Uploaded 01/28/2009
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