This blog as you may have guessed is about Death, i'm not talking about the personification as we all know and love him like William Sadler in Bill and Ted or any other famous media version that you may have seen it in.
My main question really is, what are your experiences with Death?
My first real experience that hit me hard was when I was 16, my brother had come home from College to visit and we knew he had some troubles with coursework and every other thing a College student has. Well I remember the day clearly for reasons you'll find out a few lines down. It was June 2005 and I was sitting on the same seat I am now and my brother said he was going out to the shops to get some things and so I thought nothing of it.
As the hours go by naturally we get a bit worried and as it gets to evening even more so, we tried his mobile but he had left it at home so worried as we were we decided to get the Police involved. They came round and asked if we had any contact with him at all and other general questions that they have to ask. we gave them a photo thinking that maybe he'd just turn up saying that he'd visited a friend and just forgot to ring, (it's happened to everyone as you know) but the next day still no word.
As you can imagine the whole family comes round and me and my second sister go out to look if we can find him but no luck, and so we come back, everyone decided to go out in the Cars to look for him and as it was getting late, I stay home to look after my two year old Nephew. A couple of hours later I get a teary phonecall from my oldest sister, they had found a body in the woods near a park a few minutes from where we live.
As you may of guessed by now this dosent have a happy ending, it turns out my brother was very depressed about many things and so a few hours later after the phonecall we have the Police round tellng them that the body was a positive match for the photo I gave them. He had hung himself at 23 years old, as you can imagine my whole family myself included broke down and I think my mum went into some kind of shock, i'm not too sure really but my sisters had to help her up the stairs and her crying was worse then anything I have ever heard before, i'm not trying to be horrible but you know what i'm talking about or at least those who have lost a child of their own know what i'm talking about.
The funeral was a bad time of my life as well, it was the first time I met most of his friends and the last as well there was no reason to see them again, probably didnt help with the fact that my Dad died 5 months later due to heart failure and Pneumonia brought on through sitting outside in the cold smoking after he gave up but started again after my bro died as a way of coping with the pain, still havent cried about losing him. I think I never got over mourning my bro and so I never got round to mourning for my dad.
So for those thinking of committing Suicide please know that while it may seem like a solution to your problem it will make many more, I know that he would of been a great dad as he was very funny, you could talk to him about anything and he cared, may not sound like much but thats what matters. I feel I should put this in as a little point as it is something I have experienced myself and it will seem a little off topic but i want to say it.
If you are in the situation where you are asked out by someone who isnt your vision of beauty or not absolutely perfect in your eyes, don't dismiss them straight away. Spend a few days thinking about it because maybe it must of been very difficult for them to build up the courage to tell you how they felt and actually think about them as a person. Do they seem like the person who would take care of you if you were upset?, do they respect you as a person?, maybe even though they may seem a bit quiet it could of been that they just liked spending time with you and liked hearing what you have to say and valued your opinion. I've noticed that alot of those who go for face value tend to be dissapointed but those who spend time getting to know the person are those that are happier.
I will include some helpful links to help those who are having emotional troubles to make sure you make the right choice, just think if you die it could be many years before a cure for Cancer is made or you could start a family of your own.
UK 08457 90 90 90
Ireland 1850 60 90 90
I know this one is just a link but it gave me too many numbers to copy and paste but it covers all States.
I hope I have done all I can to help but if you want to speak more feel free to message me if you feel your comment would be ridiculed, lost or ignored in the general comments below