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Friday the 13th sucked ass!!!!!!!!

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ok first off if you're not a hardcore fan of the friday the 13th movies  you dont have the right to comment, unless you have seen all the movies you are an idiot!!!!

 

so i went to see this movie and right of the back i knew it was gonna suck when i saw who  produced it.... the worst director/producer of all time Micheal Bay..... but we wont go into that for now.....

 

so the movie begins with a cheep recap of the first movie if you asked me it would have been better if it was stock footage but anyways after the movie begins we go to these douche bag guys and whores so pretty much your average teenagers and they are on the woods god knows why when jason comes out of the woods and kills them, ok mistake number one, why is he wearing a nap sack? he lost that 8 movies ago... so anyways he runs like the wind and i know most people had a problem with that but jason has run before... i believe it was  5 or 6 when he ran if im wrong please correct me, so he take s a girl prisoner..... (record scratching) wait did i just say that? yes "jason"just took in a prisoner.... what the fuck!!!! jason is not leather face!!!!! he doesnt take prisoners!!!! i went to look up the director and guess what he also directed the texas chain saw massacre.... oh now it makes sense.... no it doesnt he's jason!!! imagine if Michael myers killed people in they're dreams is the same concept!!!! that was mistake  number  2. mistake number  3 the plot sends in another group of teens a stoner asian ( yeah thats original ) a black guy and 2 couples they are there to look for the missing campers.... ( record scratch) wait how did they know they went there, the first batch stumbled into camp crystal lake by accident....  so anyways they forget about they're mission and begin to live it up.... sure..... so once a girl gets killed in the dock which by the way was the only creative kill in the movie...  night falls by now jason has gotten the infamous hockey mask where he got it? god knows.... i mean in the  3rd movie they told you he found it  in a barn but in this one he magically has it on..... that is mistake  number 4. so after a while nothing interesting happens until mistake number  5. the sex scene. i know they are a big part of the franchise but in this movie it just there for no reason.... in almost all movies the couples get killed during sex which makes the irony of laugh now but you'll be crying later.... so after the pointless sex scene we move on to the least creative kills ever made  is just slashing of throats.... so after these boring kills that wouldnt scare  a 5 year old.... we move on to mistake number  6 the killing of Jason... 

 

now lets take a pause for all the ways Jason has been killed.... he's been drowned set on fire macheted down by corey feldman  and even blown up by the army... so what creative way did Michael bay and his gang chose for Jasons's demise?..... i simple  slashing of the head by a shredder....  wow....... they free they're prisoner and after Jason's "dead"the kids decide to toss his body into the lake..... cuz thats what you do to a homicidal killer who just killed all your friends you give him a proper burial instead of running for your life and setting his body on fire.... so once they toss him in the lake they have the audacity to cause mistake number  7..... try to replicate the original jason jumping out the water and surprising the crowd by grabbing the lead girl... of course this couldn't surprise a kid with epilepsy.... 

 

so lets take a second and think about this movie.....................

 

THIS WAS THE MOST DISGUSTING PIECE OF SHIT EXCUSE FOR A SLASHER FLICK TO EVER COME OUT OF MICHAEL BAY'S BRILLIANT AND CREATIVE HEAD!!!!!! this movie followed no standards of the original slasher flick movies it was just leather face in a hockey mask and had the least amount of creative killings since attack of the the killer clowns from outer space!!!!!

now my biggest problem with this movie id that is the first friday the 13th movie released with that title in a decade.... and even Jason X and freddy vs jason were great.... but this is the first movie many people are gonna see and once they love it like idiots and go to see more and see that the old movies are nothing like this pice of shit they'll hate the old good ones and they will die forever.... i mean what's wrong with a sequel??? we haven't had a direct sequel that follows the last movie since jason takes manhattan.... to me and to hardcore loyal fans of this movie like myself, this movie doesnt exist is a different movie in a different line of movies there is only 11 friday the 13th movies, kinda how hardcore godzilla fans think of 1999 Godzilla as non existing.... now Micheal bay and his crew are already working on a remake of the Nightmare on elms street movie.... no fucking way!!!!!! it is gonna suck balls!!!!  they will probably not even cast Robert England and make Wes Craven roll in his grave.... so Michael Bay took the Friday the 13th Franchise ate it up capped it out and threw a load of special effects on it and released it on Friday the 13th..... i think thats what he's out to do take good stories throw special effects on it and fuck it up for life.... he fucked up Pearl Harbor worse than the Japanese did he fucked up Transformers he Fucked up Jason and now he's gonna fuck up Freddy Krugger.... put an end to this and boycott his movies, either way you can see them on the internet so why bother?? 

 

for now take care of your selfs and each other

Quin of King

 

 

quin_of_king Uploaded 03/01/2009
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