I know this isn't the best forumn for this, but I've searched high and low all over the internet and I've come up with jack squat for an answer.

Are there any tech savy folks out there who can help me with a little computer problem I'm having? My modem shows a 100% connection being made to the internet, but it won't allow me on. (Some bubble pops up that says "SHS Has Detected A Problem With Your Internet Connection" or something like that.) Also, my Windows Defender won't allow me to search for or get any new updates. To add insult to injury, I get a fair bit of redirecting to different web pages whenever I first do a google search and click on the site I want.

I'm almost certain this beast is ripe with a virus of some sort. Sadly, I lack the internet and computer knowledge to fix these problems. Can any of you who know a thing or two about these horrible paperweights we call computers aid me in any way?? I'd be ver greatful. (In case you're wondering how I wrote this, I'm kinda piggybacking off of some poor saps wi-fi connection....which allows me to surf, so I take it its a modem connection problem, but I don't know.)

Anyone have any ideas? I went to the Microsoft website: no help. I've checked forumns: no help. I called a pal: no help. This is really starting to piss me off!! Why won't any of these things work?!?! Is it Vista? Is it my laptop? Is it me??????

Thanks. I'll check back for any relevant suggestions you fine folks may have.

-The Big Bad