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Crazy Hoboe Woman

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Yesterday, I was walking down the street to the nearest Staples to get me a brand new monitor. I went from a 15 inch dinosaur to a kick-ass 20 inch LCD screen. So Im on my way to the store almost dancing from joy on the sidewalk like I was in an Ipod commercial and I go inside the mall and through the food court. At that moment I had one of the weirdest encounters of my life...

Maybe you know of the crazy cat lady in The Simpsons a.k.a Eleanor. Shes this old lonely woman who screams at poeple, runs around throwing cats and shit. Well I saw a woman very similar, except she wasnt throwing any cats. She was wearing layers over layers of dirty ugly clothes (raggs), she had long hair wich was almost in dreadlocks and all over her face and shoes were not matching. So she came across the food court running and falling on the ground and screaming like someone was trying to kill her.

Now my first reaction was wanting to deviate my route to avoid this devilish creature but then I thought, what if someone really did try to hurt her of what is shes so high shes hallucinating, then she could encounter the wrong person and hurt them... maybe. So as she was going outside I kinda followed her from the far, hoping to see some security guards from the mall. I found her half sitting, half laying down on the sidewalk just outside the mall and she was still making this horror movie face and squealing like she was fucking dying. For whatever reason I wasnt scared so I asked: lady, do you need some help? - on the calmest, friendliest tone possible not to freak her out even more.

She sprung up in a fraction of a second and ran across the street, still screaming like satan wants to have buttsecks with her, almost getting hit by a car and so she was then wandering in Berri-UQAM square where all the cokeheads, methscums and heroin junkies go do their junk and pass out. Theres police around that area half the time and luckily enough 2 cops were walking around the block. Some guy went up to them and pointed at crazy hoboe woman so they could go catch her and lock her up or some shit.  

And that is the story of the most fucked up thing that ever happened to me... yet :o)

Platypuss Uploaded 05/06/2009
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