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The Smurfs Conspiracy

For your consideration(mind the grammar):

Ah, The Smurfs, the small blue friendly creatures that lived in their smurf mushroom village in the forrest, running around, having adventures, smurfin smurfberries and what not. Yes, children and grown ups loved the smurfs, the friendly forrest creatures...or where they?Ok ok, first the basics: the classic animated smurfs, the hanna-barbera ones, are based on  a comic strip by an artist called Peyo, published in 1958. All the rest you can find in the pedia, but, there is a hidden story about these blue guys that you wont find there, a story that envolves satanism, racism, and comunism, all in one for your reading pleasure.heehee.I watched the smurfs when i was very little, about 5yrs old. I loved them, my sister loved them, she had those pvc figures and posters, and my cuz had the shroom house. All fucking cool stuff for a 5 year old. So, i growed up, went into school, where my mind obviously got corrupted by weird stories, that a friend of a friend of a neighbour heard, about some kid that told his mommy that the smurfs cartoons on his sheets came alive at night and bit him. The story was that the mother told the boy to cut the nonsense and go to bed. In the morning after, the mother finds the boy dead, with his smurf sheet around his neck, and tiny teeth marks on his face. I was like 9 at the time, and really liked the story.

 

As i grew up, i heard more stories about the smurfs, allways linking them to religious perversion or political propaganda (Its said, that rival companies, such as W.Disney or WB, started this rumors because of the overwelming popularity of the series). I'll start with the most obvious, the link between the smurfs and the seven deadly sins: lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride, are present in the smurf characters: smurfette, greedy smurf, brainy smurf, grouchy smurf, lazy smurf and hefty smurf. Also, the smurfs seem to perform pagan rituals when they dance around the fire at night, smurfs are born every 2 blue moons, the two equinox of pagan and diabolic rituals. Papa smurf is a wizard, thats chased around by gargamel, an old man that resembles a priest that lives in a place that looks like a ruined church, and follows orders of a man that looks like a bishop.

 

The racism:Smurfette was created by gargamel to destroy the smurfs: she was coarse, had black hair and a long nose. Papa smurf "fixed" her and changed her to be a good smurf, whith blond hair, a little pointy nose, and a lusty attitude.The purple smurfs (a bug bit one, he changed color and went bad, attacking others) where originally black; they where changed in the animated series because of the obvious racism. Besides, the smurfs where all in white pointy hats, and followed their leader in a pointy red hat; The red dragon in KKK.

Enough with the religious and racist stuff, lets get down to politics! The smurfs, was also said, where cloaked comunist propaganda. Lets see: Papa smurf was the leader, was dresses in red, and had a long white beard like marx. Brainy smurf is based on trotsky, notice the glasses and how he gets constantly kicked out of smurf village, just like trotsky got kicked out of soviet russia into mexico. The smurfs live in a village where all resources are shared, and the collective is more appreciated than the individual. They call each other "smurf", very much like the comunist "comrade". Also, there is no religion in the smurf society, just like a marxist state. Gargamel, on the other side, seems to represent capitalism: he wants to either destroy the smurfs by eating them, or turning them into gold...yup.

 

To wrap things up, an update: UNICEF used a clip of the smurf village being bombed by airplanes 3 years ago as advertisement. The clip was not popular, and had to be taken off, because of all the complaints. UNICEF insisted that they used the cartoon images searching to aim at child memories because of society desensitization to people dying or to children holding ak47's. It worked.

Closing now, I think all these stories and myths and urban legends are a fruit of that fucked up decade called the eighties, years full of fear and manipulation and bad politics. Good ridance thats not happening any more...*coughs and clicks Post!*

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