Dear Lord Prodigy,

 you may not know me and i dont expect you to. I know you always are out having fun at your awesome bangers or limo rides, which I recently found out is actually gay disco parties and quick pick up blow jobs from uncle greg. I wish i could be as cool as you man I am a nervous wreck and usually am afraid to talk to girls. I think you are the key to my success! Maybe sometime you can pick me up in your cool car and teach me how to pick up girls. I understand your life is time consuming .... Trust me I know you wake up do a quick morning jerk off to beastiality porn. Then you must do a hundred ass plunges to get totally ripped, but please i beg you just 1 hour of your presence will turn me into a total pimp ass gangsta! Well i hope you read this between either your locker punching or boulder juggling. Fag Fag Fag

Sincerely,

YOUR GREATEST FUCKING FAN!!