The sentence below is the truth

The sentence above is a lie

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. - George Carlin (r.i.p)

I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too. -Mitch Hedberg

I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette. -Rodney Dangerfield

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. -Bill Cosby

If your driving a federal owned car, and you run a stop sign, is it considered a felony?

How far east can you go before you're heading west?

Why is it that everyone driving faster than you is considered an idiot and everyone driving slower than you is a moron?

If pro and con are opposites, wouldn't the opposite of progress be congress?

If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don't they fall through the floor?

How can something be "new" and "improved"? if it's new, what was it improving on?

If a stripper gets breast implants can she write it off on her taxes as a business expense?

Why do people say "heads up" when you should duck?

What do people in China call their good plates?

Ok, this was just some random shit so enjoy!