It had been a long time and my old lady was gone....
My old lady is out of town and I was on the prowl so I did what any guy would do with free time, there were bones crunching and the moaning you could hear it a mile away. I bet the neighbors would have called the cops but to hell with them it was in the middle of the day. It was sweaty and harder than even I remember, I was really glad my old lady had went out of town because she would have been mighty angry and if she ever found out, I would once again lose all my stuff not to mention the embarrassment of gettin caught. Look I am 51 years old I was in Lexington, Ky and it is a college town and to be honest with you I was a little afraid of the prospects of trying this once again, I hadnt been single in a while so I didn't go alone because I knew I would need help so my brother went with me. He is the original HORNDOG and he would be a big help in this endeavor and I dont know if I would have been as successful if he wasn't there. When the fun was over "she" came out to say goodbye and this is the part that I hate. She was there and so young and I admit I had special feelings for this young lady "honey I gave you all I had but I am older now" she smiled and said "Dad I dont know what I would have done without you and Uncle Bob carrying in that furniture and putting it together." She better be ready to pay for movers next time because my brother and I are getting too old for this stuff, who am I kidding??? I will be there next fall to break it down and take it to where she goes to grad school, she makes me so proud and I would do anything for this young woman even if it means moving furniture.
In a rather personal note FUCK IKEA and there incredible missing parts.
Thanks for reading Bo-oh-God-I-hurt-hank