It was wednesday night when my friend Will gave me a call. There was a big party down the road at a friends house. Being a dumbass college kid, I naturally agreed to go.

I'm normally not a real party-goer (I pretend to drink by myself), but this party had to have had the hottest girls ever. Blondes, brunettes, and redheads; asians and latinas dancing to the latest popular music.

It sure was nice.

Being a single guy, I had to try my chances with all of them. I tried to play it cool, and most of the girls were respectful enough to at least give me a chance. Unfortunately, my cheesy pickup lines soon cut my chances down to nothin'.

And then she walked in. Six feet of leggy blonde, a perfect figure, wearing a slutty school girl outfit. Damn, I love college. I knew I would have to use all of my ninja-playa skills on this perfect specimen of female.

"Can I put my dick in your ass?" I asked as I took a sip of my drink.

She looked shocked beyond all belief. 

Fortunately, I knew exactly what to do. I whipped out my Twix, hastily shoved both of the delicious bars into my mouth, and chewed as fast as I could.

The girl slapped me across the face.

 Naturally, I didn't get a single girls' number after that.