SO I GO TO WALMART TODAY TO GET SOME NEW CLOTHES.  I ASK THE GREETER WHERE I CAN FIND SOME CLOTHES TO FIT MY MANLY PHYSIQUE, AND SHE POINTS TO THE MATERNITY SECTION AND STARTS TO SNICKER!

SINCE I DON'T TAKE NO BULLSHIT FROM OLD LADIES, I KNOCKED HER HEAD OFF USING MY DOUBLE CHIN OF DEATH!!  GETTIN OFF MY FAT GUY SCOOTER TOOK A LOT OUT OF ME, SO I WENT OVER TO THE MCDONALDS AND GRABBED ABOUT A DOZEN OR SO HAPPY MEALS FROM A BUNCH OF SNOT NOSED LITTLE KIDS.   I THOUGHT THOSE MEALS CAME WITH A SPECIAL CANDY, BUT AS IT TURNS OUT, THEY WERE TOYS, SO I RAN THE LITTLE FUCKERS OVER FOR NOT WARNING ME!  I GRABBED A VANILLA SHAKE OFF A TABLE AND CHUGGED IT DOWN TO WASH DOWN THOSE PLASTIC TOYS (WHICH DIDNT TASTE ALL THAT BAD)

I WENT AND GRABBED A FEW PIECES OF CLOTHING AND LOOKED FOR THE DRESSING ROOM.  SINCE THE ROOM WAS TOO SMALL (THE FIRST PERSON TO SAY I WAS TOO FAT DIES!!!)  I DECIDED TO CHANGE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STORE.  EVERYONE STOPPED AND STARED AT MY INCREADABLE NAKED BODY AS I TRIED ON THE CLOTHES I PICKED,  A FEW PAIRS OF XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL BRIEFS, BUT THEY DIDN'T FIT.  SO I WENT AND GOT A FEW BOXES OF HEFTY BAGS, CUT OUT SOME LEG HOLES AND AM CURRENTLY USING THEM FOR UNDERWEAR

ALL AND ALL IT WAS A GOOD DAY!