Since the first of August, I've been living in the big city with my best friend of ten years. Really, things couldn't be better. However, a certain ritual, maybe even a nightly rite of passage, has started.

As many of you know, I am easily irritated. My roomate knows that better than anyone, and every single night he puts on a ridiculous tv show for the sole purpose of pissing me off. Hours of sci-fi channel original movies later, and I'm ready to die.

Here's some of the "gems" of shows he's chosen:

Animonday, on the chiller network. A weekly marathon of retarded gothic themed animes. To start, I hate anime. I discovered a new hate of anime when I saw a Vampire Anime. Fuck.

Giant Shark vs. Giant Octopus, a sci-fi original movie. I'm guessing you can guess what the movie is about just from the title. Yea, there's this scene where a giant shark (the same one in the title, in case you were wondering) bites the Golden Gate Bridge in half. Yup. Not to mention in VERY high quality as well.

Dead Mary, on the chiller network. If you've never seen Chiller, it's pretty much the Lifetime Network of horror movies. Thousands of made directly for tv movies with terrible actors, etc. You get the point.

Lightning strikes, another sci-fi original movie. This one is actually a bit tough to talk about. This is most likely the worst piece of shit I've ever seen. To start, it's star is Kevin Sorbo. Yea. Him.

Now really, I could end there. But just Mr. Sorbo isn't what makes this movie the helluva bad movie it is. Let me talk about the premise: It's about a thunderstorm that attacks people. Yup, somewhere along the line this storm cloud became sentient and began chasing people. My God.

He just turned on Chiller Network. Kill me now.