You know the drill (and if you don't, please go read my other 13 blogs): I am here to expose the soft, white underbelly of our species, especially in regards to sexual deviance. The following scenarios are completely true. Some are mine, some belong to friends, some are from strangers who tell me this shit because perverts flock to me like moths to a flame. All of these stories come from people who are hardworking, decent, and God fearing. So please enjoy these juicy tidbits of humanity at its best and remember: EVERYONE is a freak.
1. Half way through nasty, drunken sex, you look over and see your boyfriend's best friend pretending to film you, using a vacuum cleaner hose as a makeshift camera. You continue grinding undeterred.
2. You call your best friend from the bathroom of a hotel room to inform her that you have semen leaking out of you and ask advice on birth control.
3. You and your 2 best friends have all had sex in the same bed at the same time yet never with each other....yet.
4. You have a threesome with your wife and another woman and knock the other woman up, resulting in a hellaciously nasty divorce.
5. You cum hardest when insulted during sex.
6. You have 12 hours of messy sex in your roommate's bed and forget to wash the sheets before she returns from Christmas vacation.
7. You wear your girlfriend's thongs around the house when she isn't there because they make you look like you have a huge package.
8. You used to snort coke out of the dimples above your ex-girlfriend's ass. You watch a porn featuring a chick with ass dimples, relapse, and throw a brick through her rear windshield.
9. You got your first erection looking at a Barbie.
10. Your mind is blown one night by the incredible clench you feel while fucking a woman who is vomiting.
11. You and your friends deep throat beer bottles within 3 minutes of entering a bar and never have to pay for another drink.
12. Your tits are your desktop background.
13. You steal algenate and plaster from your job at the dentist's office to make a plaster cast of your boyfriend's penis.
*This has been a reminder to broaden your horizons sponsored in part by the Shezagodds Deviant Advocacy Program. Please contribute generously.*