SO THERE WAS THE FAT GUY SCOOTER  POSSESSED BY THE SMUSHED SOUL OF MR.HUMBLE-AS-FUCK.  TYAEDA AND I SHOOK WITH FEAR AS THE SCOOTER WAS FIGURING OUT WHO IT WAS GOING TO ATTACK FIRST.  IT AIMED AT TYAEDA, REVED THE ENGINE, HIT THE NOS AND TOOK OFF LIKE A ROCKET! (FOR SOME REASON THE SCOOTER GOES WAY FASTER WHEN I'M NOT ON IT)  I JUMPED IN FRONT OF HER, AND THE MOTORIZED VEHICLE OF DEATH. SANK INTO MY FOLDS.

I THOUGHT THE WORST WAS BEHIND US WHEN I HEARD THE ENGINE REVVING IN MY BLUBB.  I FELL TO THE FLOOR IN AGONY AS THE SCOOTER WHEELS WERE SHREDDING THROUGH MY FAT FOLDS LIKE ME THROUGH A BUCKET OF KFC!  "RUN, SAVE YOURSELF!"  I SCREAMED TO MY PETITE COUNTERPART, BUT SHE COULDN'T STAND TO SEE ME IN SO MUCH PAIN.  SHE PUT ON A NOSE CLIP AND DOVE IN.  NEXT THING i KNOW, THE SCOOTER SHOOTS FROM MY FOLDS, OUT THE GAPIPNG HOLE I MADE WITH THE FORKLIFT, AND DOWN THE STREET!  I TRIED TO CHASE THEM DOWN, BUT COLLAPSED AFTER 5 STEPS.

MINUTES LATER, THE PHONE RANG, AND I PICKED UP.  "IF YOU EVER WANNA SEE YOUR GIRLFRIEND AGAIN YOU MOUND OF BLUBBER",  SAID THE ROID PUMPED VOICE, "GET A LAMBORGHINI  THAT I CAN TRANSFER MY SOUL INTO AND BRING IT TO THE ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT CHINESE BUFFET ON THE NORTH END OF TOWN;  AND IF YOU GET THE COPS INVOLVED, I'LL KNOW AND I'LL RUN THE BOTH OF US OFF A CLIFF!"

*CLICK*

I SAT DOWN FOR A SECOND WITH A MILLION FRANTIC THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD....WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO FIND A LAMBORGHINI....HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DRIVE IT WITHOUT DESTROYING THE SHOCKS.....HOW CAN I RESIST RUNNING INSIDE TO  THE DAMN CHINESE FOOD????  "WELLEY WELLEY WELL" SAID A SMUG VOICE FROM THE FRONT DOOR, "LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE COULD USE MY HELP.  "I GOTTA FIND A $400,000 CAR AND DRIVE IT ACROSS TOWN BEFORE TYAEDA GETS KILLED!  HOW THE HELL CAN YOU HELP ME?"  I ASKED.  "I'LL GET THE CAR AND HELP YOU SAVE YOUR LITTLE WOMAN IF YOU RELEASE ME FROM THIS DAMN COURT ORDER!" DEMANDED THE CRANKY LIBERAL

"IF YOU CAN PULL THIS OFF, ITS A DEAL!"  I SAID.  SO NOW THE FATE OF MY LITTLE CHICKEN WING RESTS UPON THE QUICK WITS OF WALLBOY.  DID I MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE?

TO BE CONTINUED.....