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The No Politics, No Religion Super-Funtime Halloween Blog

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Hey gang. It's been a while since I've actually written something on here. All the political talks and such has left a distasteful sour in my mouth. That, and I'm Canadian, so....yeah....unless the conversations stir towards free health-care or maple syrup, I've got nothing useful to say.

 

So, in the spirit of not giving a fuck about political issues (at least south of the border), I've decided to steer this trainwreck towards something the slightest bit more entertaining: Halloween.

 

Now, I've never been much for holidays of any sort. Halloween used to rank among my most hated, actually. But, since the kid is now old enough to have a vague concept of what it is and what happens, I've taken a renewed interest in the event. This week we went to a pumpkin patch to pick our pumpkins, a Halloween farm thing with hay-rides and gimmicky stuff for the younger ones, and, of course, costume shopping. It's actually been a lot of fun seeing her get excited about something she only has the slightest concept of. (Kind of like my dad and mathematics...the poor guy just keeps on tryin'.) We've been listening to "spooky" Halloween music ('The Monster Mash' and some bullcrap 'Dora the Explorer' and 'Backyardigans' themed garbage), have been watching the specials on television (anyone remember Mr. Boogity?! That shit was frightening as a kid!), and have been reading an assortment of books and such. Fun fun.

 

Anyway, all this got me thinking of Halloween when I was a lad, and what my favorite Halloween moment was. Not many come to mind (I stopped trick-or-treating at about the age of nine or ten; my mum didn't let us eat candy as kids, so what was the point in going door to door?), but a few do stand-out in my head. I remember it was my last (or close-to-last) Halloween out, and for some reason or another my hockey coach scheduled a practice on that night for 6:30. (Cockbag.)  The deal with the hockey practice nights were if you didn't show up to practice, you didn't get to play for half the game. Tough but fair, I suppose. Anyway, practice ran from 6:30 to about 7:45. By the time I got off the ice, changed from skates to shoes, and geared down, it was a touch past 8:00. Not having experienced a true Canadian fall/winter yet, I was shocked to walk out of the arena to find it snowing pretty hard and dark as midnight. (Canada...go figure.) It was dusk when I'd entered and clear....now it was dark, cold and...well...cold. We went home from the arena, my Halloween night pretty well shot to shit.

 

So, after getting home at about 8:30, my siblings were coming back after their round of trick-or-treating. They'd said how the streets were virtually empty because of the cold, and that most kids had stayed in or retired early. My mum asked if I wanted to go out still, seeing as I was already partially dressed for dealing with ice and snow. So, using all the creative bones in my body, I decided to go out trick-or-treating as a ...wait for it....hockey player! (I basically just tossed my helmet back on and put a winter coat under my jersey.) I went up and down our street at about a quarter to nine, greeted by many happy families who'd thought the holiday was ruined by the weather. People would pour huge amounts of candy into my pillow sack, telling my mum how the'y only had five or six kids the entire night. People were pretty well dumping off their stock of sweets and potato chips onto me just to get rid of them.

 

I had to return home after twenty minutes to get a fresh pillow sack, and off I went into the cold arctic October night to hit more homes. All total, I was out trick-or-treating for only about 45 minutes, but got such a haul of candy, I'd decided to call it quits and head home. Surveying the take, my brother and sister were amazed at how much I'd pulled in. I had more candy and such in just one pillow sack then they had put together. We scoured through the piles of our candy, trading away what we didn't like or bartering for the things we did. (Four bags of chips for one Milky way bar was the going rate with my brother....ass.) Now, it was all pretty well for nothing, as my mum was a nutritionist at the time and pretty well took our entire stock of goodies away a few days later, but I still look back at that Halloween as being one of my best. Going out on top, I guess.

 

Yup. So that's my favorite Halloween moment. Seeing as the holiday is fast approaching, I was hoping to inspire a number of you to write your own account of a favorite Halloween...or better yet, your worst Halloween....for all to enjoy. I think it would be fun to get into the spirit of the event 'round here. Spooky story contests, Halloween memories blogs, lists of things you'd do to Drew Berrymore if she were passed out on your sofa....whatever gets you in the mood for some Halloween fun.

 

Get crackin' monkies!

 

Thanks for reading,

-The Big Bad

the_big_bad Uploaded 10/27/2009
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